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The Death Pool – NAHL’s Keystone Ice Miners Dead Or Just Zombified?

Ummmmmm yeah, so, about those Keystone Ice Miners.  No tryouts listed.  No Pre Draft camps listed.  No tenders signed and announced.   Ohhhhhh snap.  Lets not forget, they have no owners either!

But hey, they are still on the NAHL website right, so hell yeah they have to exist.  They cant be dead can they?

Well with the Head Coach out looking for a new job, and their lead sales and marketing guy is taking a job with a local news paper selling advertising.  So you got to think they aren’t looking for jobs because of all the healthy paychecks they are getting.

But what the hell.  I mean really, the NAHL let the Lewiston deal fall apart because the league couldn’t get their shit together on the East Coast expansion.  So whats another franchise right boys?

I mean its not really important that twenty three players cant go to sign or try out with other NAHL teams because you cant get organized.  Nahhhhhhh that sure sounds like a league of “opportunity” to me!  Opportunity to get kept in the dark and fed crap like your a mushroom that is.

But not to worry, players are bolting for Canada since they haven’t been told what’s going on.  Yep, the CCHL, OJHL and BCHL have been hot on the trail for some of these players.  I mean why not, if the league doesn’t care enough to give a definitive answer on what’s going on, why should you care about the league.

Ohhhhhhh I know, the Hayes lady left the league and the team in such bad shape right?!  Yep, the last six months she hasn’t been around has lead to this fiasco I am sure.

But hey, that Ice Mine was sure something wasn’t it?  I mean with the bad ice, bad showers and dressing rooms, and all the other five star amenities, the league did a great job approving that location.

Speaking of fiasco’s, how about those Austin Bruins “firing” Head Coach Chris Tok, and Assistant Coach Jamie Huffman quitting just two days prior.

The “Owners” said Tok made decisions that weren’t consistent with what they wanted.  What a joke.  How about Tok got tired of the “Owners” trying to tell him who to play?  I wonder if any owner has a kid on the team?

Or maybe, just maybe, the “Owners” got tired of Tok and the players complaining about substandard bus conditions?  Nahhhhh I mean whats the problem with exhaust fumes in the bus.  I mean really, its not like that ever sent anyone to the hospital or anything right?!

But you know, it is Memorial Day, so lets all sit back and remember the Ice Miners, be they dead or just zombified.  If they are somehow resurrected, let us hope the one thing that does not come back are those god awful jerseys.  Who the hell approved that design?  They must have had someone from the NY Islanders on the design team that came up with the Gortons Fisherman logo!

Stay tuned kids, we got us some more bodies on the way.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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