Autumn. A time for death generally speaking. One of my personal favorite seasons. Leaves and teams just dying everywhere. Its a potpourri of death celebrations!
Turns out even in Phoenix there is a fall season. Yep, instead of a bunch of cactus dying, we got us a hockey team dead in the desert!
The WSHL’s Arizona Hawks have finally been killed off! Authorities have been notified, and a homicide investigation is underway. While other sources in the Phoenix area are saying this was a suicide.
“Ummmmm yeah, so we had a hockey team.” Said one Phoenix resident “We had a junior hockey team? What the heck is junior hockey?”
Yes, the Arizona Hawks were officially a junior hockey team. Then again, frozen dog shit on a stick would still officially be a popsicle. Ha Ha Ha
So one of the absolute worst junior teams of all time finally pulled the plug on itself. Ending the magical mushroom tour in the desert.
Seriously. When you think of the definition of bad junior hockey team, right after you see all the GMHL teams, you would have seen the Arizona Hawks. Disaster. Shit show. Embarrassing. Were all adjectives used to describe the Arizona Hawks over the years.
Now phrases like ghost, lingering stink, and tumble weeds can be used! Don’t worry folks, the stench will soon be gone. Everything eventually dries up in the desert.
So who is next? Which super awesome pay to play team is going to think they have to fart and end up shitting all over themselves? Stick around, we got word of at least three more on the ropes.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.