The Death Pool – December Reports From the Court House


Nothing says “holiday season” quite like a little time spent in lock up eh folks?  Getting to know other community members, and making those friendships that will last a lifetime!  Yep, a whole lot of holiday caroling going on there.

Things must really be joyful in Pennsylvania these days.  It seems like everyone wants to stick together.

Especially the five freakin morons who decided to rush onto the ice and start a brawl during a Ridley high school hockey game.  Lets note that it wasn’t even a good high school game.  It was some bullshit AA league game.

But hey, after you get tossed from a game, its always a great idea to go back on to the ice and start a fight.  Isnt it?  Seriously.  How freaking stupid are these guys?  Yep, future class presidents I am sure.

Then we have another pedophile up in Gatineau Quebec!  A 20 year old named Gabriel Paquin who was coaching Midget AAA was charged with luring, incitement to sexual touching, sexual exploitation and making sexually explicit material available to a child.

Nothing says team bonding like your coach sending people sexually explicit stuff to kids eh?!?!  Yeah, all that screening sure works well doesn’t it?

From the files of “Holy Shit That Cant Be True”, we have the curious story of Mike Gould.  He hasn’t been arrested, or made his way to court for this yet, but yet is the key word.

Mike Gould promised the Kimberly Dynamiters that he was donating 7.5 Million Dollars to them.  That’s right.  7.5 Million dollars donated to a junior B team!

Are you kidding?!?!  That’s a shit ton of cash for any organization.  Good old Mike Gould had himself a party and dropped a ceremonial puck as soon as he made the commitment!  Awesome stuff.

Only it looks like old Mikey hasn’t got the dough.  Yep, the wanna be lottery winner has had more trouble finding where his money is than my sister has trouble finding the bathroom after she gets hammered.

Old Mike cant find the money and all his bankers do is keep screwing up the wire transfers.  Crazy I know.

But hey.  These people from the Dynamiters went for this bullshit without checking things out first!  They made a big deal out of something and they had no verification that Mikey had a dime to his name.  Yeah, that sounds like some quality leadership there folks.  And we wonder why community owned teams almost always fail?!?!?

Stick around everyone.  I think we got one or two teams that may not make it to the holiday break.  I know its crazy to think that players would leave after having such great experiences with some of these shit shows!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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