Sometimes I sit and wonder when all these ridiculous stories will just stop coming in my email box. I mean you have to think that at some point some people are eventually going to pull their heads out of their asses.
Thankfully, today isn’t that day! Ha Ha Ha
So, its not junior hockey when you get to the dressing room on game night and find your head coach recruiting two house bantam players to wear jerseys of players who left the team so that it looked like you had enough players to play that night.
I wonder how the players explain playing two games on the same day in two different leagues, in two different cities, at the same time when they want to clean up their elite prospects profile!
Its not junior hockey when the Kalkaska Rhinos play with 9 skaters! 9 freakin skaters people!
Its really not junior hockey when the Kalkaska Rhinos 9 freakin skaters beat the shit out of the Tri City Icehawks nearly full roster!
Seriously, which is more pathetic? The Rhinos shit show, or the Icehawks absolute embarrassment? Someone need to kill off both these stains on junior hockey!
Its not junior hockey when on a road trip your bus driver disappears with the team bus. After your team sits waiting for two hours, your owner finally gets a call from the driver. He is in jail for drunk driving and the bus has been impounded. Looks like stopping to watch the NFL playoffs while parking a bus in a bar lot might attract a little unwanted attention.
Its not junior hockey when your Tier III head coach tells you that you, the teams leading scorer, that you shouldn’t try for Tier II because he can do just as good a job at getting you to an NCAA program. Of course you can coach. Because all players and parents want to pay to play instead of playing for free!
Its not junior hockey when your Tier III team that charged you an “equipment deposit” wants the equipment back at the end of the season and doesn’t give you your money back. Not that you wanted to keep the super awesome cheap gloves and helmet.
Its not junior hockey when after a three in three roadie, you get on the team bus to find a happy meal as your post game meal and its ice cold. Little hint guys, happy meals don’t fuel athletes.
Finally, its not junior hockey when your coach is talking about how many Tier II jobs he is going to apply for when your current Tier III team has 12 skaters, and you lose games by an average of more than 5 goals.
Keep those tips and stories coming in people. We cant get enough of them firstname.lastname@example.org
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.