Its another beautiful Monday. I freakin love Mondays. I look forward to taking a healthy dump on some people’s Monday morning news paper. Seriously, how many Tier III owners are pissing their pants on Sunday night and Monday mornings hopping they wont be swimming in The Death Pool?!
Can you imagine sitting at the table eating Sunday night with your family knowing you just put a shit show on the ice again with fewer than 15 players? How about putting a shit show out there with players who cant even skate? Maybe dressing a few goalies to sit on the bench and make it look like you actually had two lines of players?
Hell yeah. There a whole bunch of tricky shit going on. MMMMMMMM Nothing like delivering a real ass kicking to those shit shows.
How about the league officials who tell parents who are complaining that they have no choice but to stay? Basically go screw yourself, because we have to support these shit shows or we actually look like the greedy shit bags that we really are!
So, here are a few teams and comments from parents we have received about them. You can decide for yourself if they deserve to survive….
NA3HL Dayton Falcons – This absolute joke was dressing ten skaters over the weekend! Yep, and these clowns have already added more than 40 freaking players this season! How can the league protect this embarrassment? Easy. Its all about franchise fees baby!
Maybe when parents are complaining you should listen? You know, like service your customer? Nahhhh that would make too much sense.
NA3HL College Station Spirit – Another embarrassment. Another team using ten skaters. Another franchise willing to risk the health and welfare of children in order to secure profits. Its all about the kids right?
GMHL Wiarton Schooners – How god damn funny is it that NA3HL teams and GMHL teams are on the same shit show level? That’s some hilarious stuff there parents. Yeah well unless you sent your kid to one of these ass clown organizations! Ha Ha Ha
USPHL Premier Tri City Ice Hawks – Are you kidding me with nine players? Are you really so freakin desperate that you would put nine players on the ice to get their asses kicked? Talk about a shit show of epic proportion.
USPHL Premier Kalkaska Rhinos – New to the overflowing Death Pool is one of last years most embarrassing teams, the Rhinos. Such a successful organization over he years, they probably just chose to never have a full roster in their history! Ha Ha Ha
USPHL Premier Ironwood Fighting Yoopers – I hate to have these guys on the list because they actually have some talent on the team. Problem is the team is made up of a dozen players and that aint junior hockey.
Remember now, these are only the teams that we have heard from parents with children on the teams. This isn’t a complete list of shit shows, or teams playing with too few players.
But when the parents write that they cant get out of a shitty organization because the league is protecting the team, or that they cant get a refund if they get traded or released, that might just be a red flag for the rest of you.
How about pulling your heads out of your asses and realize there is a reason why teams don’t have full rosters. Its because other players didn’t want to play for them! Why the hell would you want to be the sucker that does? Seriously people how freakin gullible are you?
Common sense says that when a team sucks year in and year out, and they never have a full roster…..there might just be a problem!
To the parent who thought I just had an axe to grind with one team in one league….Really? If a team sucks a team sucks. There’s a reason shitty teams are in shitty leagues being run by shitty people.
All you mommies and daddies send me your shit and I am on it. firstname.lastname@example.org
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.