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The Death Pool – Special Report – OHL Brings Hammer Down On Flint Owner And Staff

Thank god for the Flint Firebirds Owner!  I was worried it was going to be a boring week!  Amazing what one guy can do to a franchise in less than one year of ownership eh kids?!

We all knew it wasn’t going to take long for David Branch, the CHL, and the OHL to come down on Rolf Nilsen for his latest stunt, and it only took 24 hours.

So heres what you get Rolfy boy;

The Ontario League takes the health and well being of our players very seriously.  The recent actions by the owner of the Flint Firebirds Rolf Nilsen and his representatives on the management team and coaching staff is of great concern as they pose a serious threat to our commitment to our players and their families.

The league announces the following sanctions effective immediately:

  • Mr Nilsen and his appointees on the management and coaching staff including Sergei Kharin are suspended from Flint Firebirds’ hockey operations until further notice;
  • The Flint Firebirds at their cost, under the direction of the League, shall provide counselling services for players;
  • Rolf Nilsen and representatives of the Flint Firebirds shall co-operate with the Commissioner and the League in investigations into the conduct and actions of the Flint Firebirds and its representatives, employees, officers and directors;

In addition, the League will continue to investigate the actions of Rolf Nilsen and other representatives of the Flint Firebirds and will take any action and impose any sanctions that are deemed appropriate by the Commissioner.

Later today, the League will be meeting with the players in Flint to further discuss the situation, and to ensure that they are provided the appropriate supports.  These discussions and supports will be ongoing for the players and their families.

Essentially, you have been sent to hockey purgatory.  You will wait there until we have found someone to purchase the club and then you will likely be sent directly to hockey hell! Until that time when you entire the fiery pit, you shall do as I say, whether you like it or not, and afterward, you will thank me for it!  Ha Ha Ha

Wow, talk about having a bad day huh Rolf?!  All those millions of dollars you spent, and thinking you could just do what ever you want because you have money.  Funny how the hockey world doesn’t work like that isn’t it?  Crazy to think that other wealthy people would care how you make them look stupid by letting you into the club.

You are sure infamous now though.  Youre on every sports talk radio, TV, and publication that covers hockey now.  While most people would like to be covered by all those entities, they usually would prefer it to be for winning championships.  Well, you just won a championship that no one else will likely win, and no one would want to win.

Say what you want about David Branch, he did the right thing here, and he may have gone a little easy on these people.

But hey, I have one question remaining…..Does this mean Rolf wont wrestle a bear for the Jackie Moon foundation?

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening

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