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The Death Pool – Teams On The Death Watch List – Part One

Good Monday morning boys and girls.  Yep, the junior hockey season is officially in full swing.  Pretty much every league in North America has begun playing games.  Not every team, but just about every league except the Rocky Mountain Junior League.

So I have spent the weekend going through the USA Hockey Protected Lists, as well as game sheets for each league counting players.  You know, real players that are playing in games, and not ghost players that are showing up on some team rosters.  Yep, that’s right, some teams are signing or protecting players that ummmmm yeah, simply wont play in a single game.

So, in an effort to provide each of you with real information, and not the typical team propaganda, here is my official Death Watch list;

The GMHL;

Bracebridge Blues with a total of 9 skaters and 3 goaltenders.

Brantford Steelfighters with a total of 10 skaters and 3 goaltenders.  Coincidentally the ugliest logo in hockey history. Ha Ha Ha

Colborne Chiefs with a total of 7 skaters and 3 goaltenders.

North York Renegades with a total of 12 skaters and 4 goaltenders.  Yep, 4 goaltenders.

Shelburne Sharks with a total of 13 skaters and 5 goaltenders.  Nothing like 5 goaltenders to keep practice flowing!

Toronto Blue Ice Jets with a total of 12 skaters and 3 goaltenders.

Now keep in mind kids, that close to half the teams in the league haven’t posted their rosters.  Also keep in mind that ghost players exist in the league because teams have listed players as protected who aren’t there.

It does get better though…..In a game on Friday night where Alliston is said to have beaten Grey County by a score of 18 to 3, some people are saying the real score was 30 to 3 and that they will be adding players points throughout the season because they didn’t want to embarrass Grey County!  Ummmmmm yeah, hate to break it to you kids, 18 to 3 is an embarrassment an extra 12 goals doesn’t make it look better or worse!

NA3EHL;

Roc City Royals with a total of 12 skaters and 3 goalies.

Skylands Kings with a total of 11 skaters and 3 goalies.  But hey they had a camp over the weekend so you never know!

Wilkes Barre Miners with a total of 11 skaters and 4 goalies.

Really guys, do all three of you think you will fill your rosters to a competitive level?  You have 13 teams, get rid of one so that two of them can try to survive.  This is embarrassing!

NA3HL;

Now there have only been a few games player here.  So we will look more closely at these guys next week.  But, some teams suspiciously already have players not playing games on their rosters, but they aren’t playing with full rosters on game night.  Yep, keep an eye on this kids!

USPHL;

Marquette Royales with a total 11 skaters and 3 goaltenders its time someone just pulls the plug on this once proud franchise.  Even the goalie got tossed from a game the other night!

Michigan Wild played with 13 skaters and 2 goalies over the weekend, and ummmmm the results were 15 goals scored against them and no goals scored at all for them against the expansion Chicago Cougars.  Yep, not so good.

Alpena Flyers are listing 11 skaters and 3 goalies and they start their season next weekend.

Frederick Freeze played with 13 skaters and 2 goalies over the weekend.

More to keep an eye on here too folks as most teams haven’t played yet.  Look for updates.

Whew, my eyes are hurting from all this painful reading.  I mean seriously kids, some of these rosters are so bad it hurts to read them.  Then again they are so freakin small the pain goes away cause I can read em quickly!  Ha Ha Ha

Look for part two tomorrow.  Its sure to be fun.  Ohhhhhh snap, got to run kids, I hear a flat line going off!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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