Alright, back again for another tale of donkeys, and donkettes. Today’s story is rather sad, so I’m going to save a lot of my crude comments, if I can. We bring you stories all the time about scam owners, and scam teams that rip players and their families off for money pretending to be a junior hockey team. Players disregard what they read here, and the advice they get from everyone around them, because they fell for the team’s BS of how great this piece of shit team will be, only to travel far away to a shithole “billet house” that’s the owner’s unfinished basement, or a creepy trainer’s house. Then they discover when they arrive, nothing is as promised, the team is skating with 12 players, and they just wasted big bucks to throw away a crucial year in their hockey development, education, and social network.
But this is not another story about the Niagara Whalers, or South Muskoka Shield scamming players, and bilking money. This is a story about how leagues rip off teams. That’s right….Leagues scamming teams! You see, these pay-to-play leagues also charge teams expansion fees, player card fees, and annual league fees. The more teams in the league, the richer the owners of the league get. And I don’t have enough room here to write about how these 2 douche bag owners of the league also own and run 2 of the teams in their league; the Bradford Rattlers and Bradford Bulls scam. Save that nugget for another day.
Now, usually we don’t care about donkeys getting donked. It’s called the free market. And if you are that much of a donkey to open up a business in hockey, and put down that kind of money, with your ‘Field of Dreams’ mentality that if “you build it, they will come.”, then we just laugh at you, and call you out for the donkey you are, and warn players not to go to your shit show, un-thought-out business.
However, in this case, we need to make an exception. Today’s story is about a team unfortunately called the Wiarton Schooners. The Wiarton team is back in the GMHL for a 3rd time, after the last 2 years straight, the team folded mid-season, killing hockey players ambitions, educations, health, and social networks. Now, we’ve called them out year after year for the shit show they are, but like a nasty case of herpes on Bob Russell or Steve Quinn’s balls, they flare up year after year about this time (sorry for my crassness, those phallic swallowers have no place in hockey, if you can call the GMHL “hockey”).
Here’s the tragic, sad, and unfortunate tale of the Wiarton Schooners. They are owned by an elderly couple named John Dyer, and his wife Beth Dyer. John is suffering from a brain disease, that upon talking with him, has symptoms of senility and dementia. His wife Beth, is a part-time special needs teacher, who also suffers symptoms to senility and dementia, although not to the extent of her husband. They live out in the middle of the country, about 45 minutes to an hour drive from the rink with their adult son who looks like he comes out of a horror movie. Now, I’m not going to get into the story how he assaulted a player from the team that billeted there, and how John in a rage of senility brandished a knife at a teenaged player living with them when he packed up his stuff to leave the house from ‘Misery’, that isn’t what this article is about.
This article is about the owners of the GMHL itself, Bob Russell and Ken Girard (not his real name, his alias. Real name is Kenneth Gianopolis or something. Why does the owner of the GMHL use an alias? Fraud, running from something? And what’s with his very long fingernails just on his pinky fingers? Is it fashion like he claims, or a typical tell-tale sign of a chronic white powder use?). Anyways, they meet with John and Beth Dyer, and grant them a team in their league? Why give a team in your league to 2 elderly owners that are suffering from very serious metal diseases? The answer is obvious…money. The root of the problem in this league is that teams are granted to anyone who is willing to give Bob Russell and Ken Girard (or Gianopolis, or whatever his real name is) money. Like players bilked of money, owners after their last payment cleared are disregarded by the league. They either sink or swim. That is why, jeez…what’s the count now? No exaggeration, 27 teams have folded. And Bob and Ken run to the bank.
This year will mark the 3rd straight year Wiarton is in the league. The previous 2 years were dismal failures, and a disgrace. We can again write how the team doesn’t have enough stalls (more like kindergarten cubbyholes), only 16, or any fans to dry equipment, or doesn’t have enough billet houses; Beth and John housed 9 players last year sleeping on the floor in their living room, or anything else a self-respecting junior team must have. But I digress. Due to the owners’ mental diseases, they keep forking over money to Bob and Ken, and they are continually let back in the league for another embarrassing September, where the team will again undoubtedly fold, as we’ve told you they would every year for the last 2 years, and are again predicting.
The bilking of this sad elderly couple’s savings, pensions, and disability will continue through the scam of granting them a team year after year, until their financial resources are all dried up, and they are left to live out the remaining years of their life on government disability, unless someone with connections to law enforcement looks into this fraud, or fraud of other “investors” like a European group that was scammed by these 2 sword swallowers to build a rink that obviously never happened, or Revenue Canada (the Canadian IRS) looks into the GMHL fraud; teams not paying HST (Canadian taxes) on player fee revenue collected or running illegal 50/50 draws without a lottery license.
Alright, I can’t hold my tongue anymore…F#*% YOU Bob Russell and Ken Girard (or Kenneth Gianopolis, or whatever your real name is). You two are PIECES OF SHIT! You take this amazing, pure game of hockey, and use it to bilk players, bilk owners, and bilk investors, all in a scam to be rich and support your personal habits! You two, your fake names, your chronic case of the sniffles, and your piece of shit GMHL league, can F*#% OFF!!!
~ Peter Northgraves
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. Unfortunately for the GMHL its not too funny for them. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.