The Death Pool – GMHL Teams On Life Support
Me likey Mondays! Ohhhhh hell yeah. I just love to sneak around on Twitter and Facebook under fake names. Seriously, you should try that shit sometime. I mean you just make up a fake profile and pretend you are a young player and all kinds of shit happens.
Its amazing what happens when people are desperate to sign players. Fake profile, no stats, no problem we got a spot for you. How does $7000 sound? Yep, we saw you last year at the _______ Showcase. You were great and we see you fitting in to our top nine.
Yes indeed. They saw me at the showcase, got a copy of my fake resume, and know all about my high school team that doesn’t exist! Thanks for playing boys!
Ohhhhhhhh shit, you mean you didn’t notice that one guy wasn’t playing? But you still got his resume? And you liked the stats so much you thought you would try to bullshit your way to getting his parents to write you a check? Shit, that sucks that you fell for that. Ha Ha Ha
Lets hear it for the Ville Marie Pirates. Arrrrrrrgggg where ya Pirates going? Anyone see my eye patch? Come to think of it, anyone see any freaking Pirates around here at all? No, oh shit, my bad. Maybe they are on the Schooners?
Hey where the hell are those Wiarton Schooners anyway? I know we parked those bitches in the lake somewhere? Do you think they could have sank with all the Pirates on board? Shit. Well looks like we will just have to sit on the beach and wait for those floaters to pop up.
My oh my. We got us some teams on life support up in the “G” show. Reports are as many as six teams are struggling to get off the ground less than a month before the season starts. Hmmmmmm, ya think they might start combining teams? Nahhhhhhh lets just re-do the schedule a few times.
Yep, nothing like open dates, un used ice, needless expenses and time wasted. The model of efficiency boys and girls. Think announcements are coming from the league? Nahhhhhh lets just sweep shit under the rug like we have been for years.
Lets look at the schedule though shall we? Ohhhhhh shit, yeah, well about that schedule, as of Saturday night at 8:00 PM only one half of the leagues schedule is posted. The other half, you know the one with the Pirates riding on the Schooners, yeah that cant be found.
Hmmmmmm sounds to me like recruiting might not be so awesome this year eh boys? Maybe you should have gotten that lease done last spring huh? Yeah, hmmmm just some shitty planning huh? Maybe its time you stopped listening to these guys;
Photo taken at the league office during a recent scheduling meeting. Its reported that it was taken immediately after receiving a phone call from the bank saying all expansion franchise fee’s paid by check had cleared.
One a positive note, all you suckers who are about to take a real pounding financially, you are joining a very nice club. Members around the world are cheering that they are not alone in being stupid for buying this bullshit.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.