The Death Pool – Special Report – GMHL’s Shelburne Stars Dead On The Scene

I love Canada.  I love the beer.  I love Niagara Falls.  I love the Eaton Centre on Yonge Street in Toronto.  Shit, I am really loving the Canadian exchange rate these days when I head north.

But what I love most of all is the Canadian gift that keeps on giving.  I don’t know what I would do without the GMHL.

Really guys, thank you.  Thank you so much for your brilliance.  Your leadership, and your ever improving leadership in teaching people how NOT to operate a league!  Truly you guys are just awesome and awe inspiring!

So, last spring we got a few people bitching about when we pronounced the Shelburne Sharks as dead.  Yep, even the team owner called my boss to bitch.

Ummmmmmm yeah, well turns out the Sharks were dead.  Then some poor suckers come along to buy this franchise and keep it in Shelburne.  But hold on, they had an ingenious plan to make this team something special.

The plan……wait for it…..the plan was to…..

CHANGE THE NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Ta Da!!!!!!

Brilliant!  Just Brilliant!

Yep, lets change the name boys.  No one will remember the absolute shit show the team has been.  Hell, no one will even remember there was a team here.  I mean its not like they were selling tickets or anything.  Its like moving into a town with no movie theater and your the only movie running!

Oh hell yeah, this is going to be sweet!

Ummmmmm yeah, well then the alarm clock went off, and someone woke up to realize that no one wants to play in Shelburne, and if you don’t actually recruit, you wont actually have players on your team.  Seriously, another bad fart just blew threw the GMHL.  Then again, most of the the owners probably thought it smelled like fabreeze because they didn’t have to redo the schedule mid season.

Oh shit, well lets hold off on redoing the schedule, cause we may still have to do that.  Or maybe we just loan each other players again.  Or maybe we all wear camo uniforms every night and no one will know when we use the same players for both teams in one game!  Yep, that’s the ticket.

Stay tuned kids, we got a lot more on the way.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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