The Death Pool – Special Report – GMHL’S Toronto Blue Ice Jets Crash And Burn

Yep, we got us another clean up on aisle two.  Someone bring a mop and a shop vac will ya?  Damn, when some teams shit the bed I mean they really shit the bed.

In what can only be described as another mysterious vanishing act, the GMHL’s Toronto Blue Ice Jets have just disappeared!  Shocking isn’t it?!

I mean seriously, when do you idiots at the GMHL think we are going to stop getting tips when you just fold teams?  It will probably be the second Thursday of NEVER!  What a bunch of idiots.

Oh shit, my bad.  Sorry, did I offend you?  Ok boys, we can try again next year.  I mean it is Toronto right?  I mean everyone would want to come and pay an ass load of money to play for a shit team in an over saturated shit team hockey market in a league that is the punch line to random jokes.

Yeah you know like, a nun, a priest and a hockey player walk into a bar…………………………….GMHL!!!!!!!!  Get it?

What a disgrace!  But hey, anyone can open a freakin lemonade stand and try to sell lemonade, right?  I mean junior hockey is junior hockey isn’t it?  Well, that is if you eliminate the fact that junior hockey used to stand for something like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh integrity?

In an unrelated story, all hockey players in house league midget programs in the GTA have refused to show up to practice next week, citing previous commitments to play for the GMHL Olympic qualifying team.  Well, that’s what they were told anyway.

See ya real soon kids, I got a ton of stuff in the works!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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