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The Death Pool – Special Report – The GMHL Playoff Lie

Hey kids, hope you’re all enjoying the weekend.  I am out scouting once again, but I had to give you this little piece of information on the GMHL and the scam or lie they are trying to pass now.

So remember how the Sturgeon Falls Lumberjacks folded a few weeks ago?  Yeah, I knew you would.  Well it turns out so do many of our readers up in Ontario.

Unfortunately it looks like the GMHL management forgot that Sturgeon Falls folded a few weeks ago.  Not sure how that could happen, but it apparently did.

See, according to the GMHL the Sturgeon Falls Lumberjacks played a playoff game against Colborne!  At the bottom of the page you can see they announced the Lumberjacks lost 8 to 5 in the playoffs.

The game was allegedly played on February 15th, but Colborne played Shelburne that day in the playoffs according to the game results.

So, in case you kids haven’t figured it out by now, the GMHL is all smoke and mirrors.  It is a magical mystery wonderland where teams that folded weeks ago continue to play games when all the players have left town.  It is a league that awards points to players when no game is played.  Its a league that awards stars of the game to players when games aren’t played.

It really is a magical place this GMHL.  Unicorn petting zoo’s, leprechaun gold factories, oompa loompa chocolate bars fall from the sky, and scouts mysteriously attend games and showcases without remembering actually attending!  Its like the whole thing is covered in pixie dust!

Next season, I am hearing the Toronto Avatars will be joining the league.  You know, those fake things that only look like people on line.  I am sure they will fit in just fine with the rest of the fake teams in the league.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening

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