The Death Pool – Special Report – USPHL Takes Eleven Organizations From EHL

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Holy crap Batman.  The Christmas Season is upon us, and I got people just giving and giving!  Now we got the USPHL adding eleven, and not just any eleven, but eleven of the very best junior hockey organizations in the country from the Eastern Hockey League.

Yeah, so it breaks down like this boys and girls.  Its SIX Premier Teams, FIVE Elite Teams, and their U-18 and U-16 teams!!!!

So yeah, that’s only Eleven more junior teams and ohhhhhh another ten or more U-18 and U-16 teams!  Nahhhhh nothing to see here kids, keep moving along.  Hmmmmm you wonder if any of this has to do with the fact that the USPHL is adding Free to Play hockey next year?  Nahhhhhhh that couldn’t be.

Nope, owners and east coast players and parents sure aren’t going to support the USPHL initiatives after USA Hockey put the screws to them are they?  Who ever the morons were who were saying that simply don’t know anything about eastern hockey.

Yep, lets just put the screws to the USPHL and put them in their place.  We can take over the east by doing it.  Nahhhh don’t worry about the fact that we cant draw fly’s to a freakin corpse out there under our business model.  Forget the fact that we cant compete with recruiting out there, its all gonna be fine.

Yeah right.  Keep believing that shit while you keep writing checks.

Holy shit I wish I could be a fly on the wall at the USA Hockey meetings in Orlando next month.  Seriously, this is going to be awesome.

Ummmmm yeah, so in case there was any doubt for some of you, the USPHL owns the East Coast.  Yep, they are going to continue to own it, and anyone who thinks they are wrestling that territory away from them is just plain stupid.

And here I thought I was gonna have to sit and wait until after New Year’s for some good shit to break!  I would like to thank the hockey gods for such a miraculous 2016.  Seriously, it just couldn’t get any better.  Or could it?   Uht Oh mommies and daddies, I just got a tip on some teams that might not be back after the break.

Got to run kids, all this work is going to make me hungry though.  Can you smell what Death has cookin?!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.