What a weekend kids! Seriously, it was just spectacular. I can only hope yours was as good as mine. I mean I had so much fun going undercover this weekend you wouldn’t believe it. Nothing like just blending in with a family that’s in on the plan.
Just sit and listen and watch. Its amazing what you can learn just by keeping your eyes and ears open. Its more amazing what people will say when there are other people around. Seriously the crap that comes out of peoples mouths when trying to make a deal is just amazing!
So, I made my way down to Canton Michigan this weekend with a family I know. Truth be told its one of my favorite little death cherubs who feeds me inside info. I just blended in like I was the oldest brother who just got home from college. It was awesome.
So, I get there to this big ass event that was supposed to have 32 or more teams in it. Yeah well, not so much. The event that was supposed to have all kinds of high end scouts at it too. Yeah well, not even close.
I just knew how things would go when I saw these young guys sitting at a folding card table that was the organizational staff. Yeah, a folding card table.
But the real treat was what I got to see on the ice.
Now, I want to be fair, there were two good teams at the event, one from St. Louis and one from the USPHL Mid West. There were also a few decent players on some of the other teams.
Then again, for every decent player there were five or six absolute benders! I don’t mean kids that just needed more time, I mean kids that were being sold an absolute lie and being told it was a dream.
GMHL recruiters everywhere. This is a GMHL event kids, and in case you don’t know, anyone with a pulse and a check book can play in the GMHL. You don’t have to be good, you just have to be able to pay. It is down right embarrassing.
You parents need to wake the hell up. If you cant get a sniff in a real legitimate Tier III sanctioned league, you got no business playing junior hockey. Am I clear enough? Take that money and spend it on your college tuition and you will be years ahead of all the boneheads who ignore these words of wisdom.
Just so there is no misunderstanding kids, memorize the following;
THE GMHL REPRESENTS ALL THAT IS BAD AND WRONG IN PAY TO PLAY HOCKEY
Yeah so, I hope that’s clear enough for ya moms and dads. And if not, good luck, you’re going to need it.
On a good note though, it looks like the GMHL is expanding to Egypt with a new team called the Dead Pharos. Immigration may be a challenge though. Travel logistics are also proving problematic since school busses can’t provide cross continental transportation and tend to get stuck in the sand. Never fear though, the brain trust is looking for a solution, and teleportation is being investigated.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening