The Death Pool – The GMHL Expands To Quebec When Running Out Of Ontario Cities To Screw
Can I get a big “Happy New Year”? Hell yeah, lets get this year started right. Lets get the GMHL rolling for the 2017 expansion campaign! Yep, nothing better than getting a fresh new year for these guys to take a dump on right away! That’s right kids, that taste in your mouth sure aint a chocolate bar!
Lets all welcome the Pirates Ville-Marie!!! When you burn enough cities in the Province of Ontario what do you do? Well you just keep moving on to another Province and go to Quebec!
Hell yeah, great idea boys. Its a whole new area for us where we can bend people over in a new language! Merci! May I have another? Ha Ha Ha
Seriously, how freakin desperate are the arenas in Canada that they are still doing deals with this traveling shit show? You would think someone would pick up a phone and call some of the towns that have been left behind like scorched earth by this band of merry men.
The Pirates! Hell yeah. If that’s not appropriate I don’t know what is. Its about time the GMHL had a team named the Pirates. Maybe the next team can be called the Bank Robbers? How about the Oath Breakers? Maybe the Check Cashers? Nahhhhhhh why name a team anything that makes sense. Ha Ha Ha
Sure, Pirates are synonymous with Ville-Marie! Of course there is a long history of Pirate’s in a town that isn’t even remotely close to an ocean. But what the hell, who cares if a name makes any sense these days. The Montreal Giraffes and the Quebec City Poutines are on the expansion list for 2018!
But hey, at least the Temiscaming Titans will now have a travel partner. I mean you got to do something to keep one of the legitimate organizations from leaving for a real league. This just might do the trick.
Look for more shit show expansion news real soon. Rumors are running wild about the return of some real successful teams that have already folded at least once! Many are now anxiously awaiting the official announcement of the long rumored new division to be based in Mexico, and sponsored by Taco Bell. Seriously, thanks guys, you know how to start a new year just right!
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.