After a lifetime of advising, coaching, and simply talking hockey with players and parents, you’d think there wouldn’t be much left that could surprise me.
Unfortunately, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
In today’s junior hockey world, there seems to be a Jim Jones-level amount of Kool-Aid being consumed when it comes to evaluating a player’s actual ability. Parents and players convince themselves that opportunities exist at levels where they’ve never even been recruited.
I’m not saying this to be cruel. I’m saying it because too many families are getting it wrong.
Somewhere along the way, parents have handed over major financial decisions to teenagers who simply aren’t equipped to make them.
As a former hockey parent, I can tell you there is no chance on this planet that my son would have been the sole decision-maker on where I was spending tens of thousands of dollars. How did we get to a point where 18-, 19-, and 20-year-olds are deciding whether Mom and Dad should spend another $15,000 to $25,000 on another season of pay-to-play junior hockey, when many of them can’t even set an alarm and get out of bed before noon?
Little Johnny sleeps until lunchtime, grabs Tim Hortons, spends an hour or two at the gym pretending to work out, and Mom and Dad not only hand him the car keys—they hand him complete control over another year of expensive junior hockey.
Are you kidding me?
Think I’m exaggerating?
I’m not.
That’s a factual account of a conversation I had this morning. And it’s just one of countless conversations I’ve had with families who insist their goal is college hockey.
Sorry.
I’m calling bullshit.
What this particular player really wants is another year of having Mommy and Daddy fund his lifestyle while he postpones the responsibility of actually going to college.
And most parents will happily write the check.
That’s not supporting your child. That’s failing to develop accountability, leadership, and decision-making skills.
It’s also part of the reason many players remain Tier III or pay-to-play players and never get a legitimate look from the NAHL.
But hey, at least that collection of main camp jerseys will look great gathering dust in the garage next year.
Here’s another example.
This week I spoke with a Canadian Junior A player and his parents about playing college hockey in Europe. We offered him a strong scholarship package, meaningful ice time, and the opportunity to earn a university degree—all for roughly the same cost as another season of paying to play Junior A in Canada.
He turned it down.
Why?
Because he wants one last shot at NCAA Division I.
This player finished sixth in scoring on his team in a small Junior A league that produced fewer than a handful of Division I commitments last season. He’s never attended a Division I game. He hasn’t spoken with a Division I coach. He hasn’t even had meaningful conversations with Division III programs.
Yet somehow he believes Division I is just around the corner.
And once again, Mom and Dad are allowing him to make a five-figure financial decision based entirely on hope instead of reality.
Here’s a suggestion.
Instead of paying for another year of junior hockey, put every dollar you planned to spend into your son’s bank account today.
Tell him he’s responsible for paying his tuition, his billet fees, his equipment expenses, and everything else.
Then see how much money is left by September.
The online gaming purchases.
The Tim Hortons runs.
Taking his girlfriend out.
The everyday spending.
Watch how quickly that money disappears.
Reality has a way of teaching lessons that parents often avoid.
Now for a few truth bombs.
If you’re not playing in the USHL or the CHL, your chances of playing NCAA Division I hockey are incredibly small. They’re probably closer to winning the lottery than most people want to admit.
If you haven’t had serious conversations with Division I programs by now, you’re probably not going to.
And if someone presents you with a legitimate opportunity—whether that’s NCAA Division III, U SPORTS, ACHA, or college hockey in Europe—you’d better take a hard look at it, because opportunity rarely knocks twice.
The NCAA landscape has changed.
Junior hockey has changed.
The recruiting process has changed.
The pathway has changed.
So why are so many families determined to keep chasing a version of hockey that no longer exists?
The sooner you accept reality, the sooner your player can move forward with a real plan instead of chasing a fantasy.
But if you’re one of those families with unlimited money and no interest in hearing the truth, by all means keep writing the checks.
The NAHL appreciates your camp fees.
