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An Advisers Life – Dealing With Success Jealousy

Success has a different defined level for every individual person. For some its reaching the NHL, while others it is reaching NCAA hockey.

Along the way, each of us, myself included has had to control our own envious thoughts on other peoples success, while having to deal with other people who may be envious of our success.

Jealousy is a natural feeling really. How we deal with it when we feel it or when it is directed toward us is the real issue.

Players, parents, coaches, owners, advisers, everyone involved int he game experiences some jealousy in the game at some point of another. Usually it subsides and we refocus on our own careers, but for some that is impossible.

Some people will always want to spread rumors, or try to bring someone else down who is at another level than them. This is simply the ugly side of people personalities.

“Oh he only made it because his father knows the coach”, “I am better than he is, but I don’t have his connections”, “they bought his place on the team”, “He only made it because of his Adviser”.

“I dont know why he got that coaching job when I have a better winning record”, “I dont know why he got that promotion, he isnt as good as me”, “that’s what happens when you kiss the right asses”.

Or it can get dirty and people can spread lies, make up stories, and deliberately contact other people in the business to try to hurt the other persons career. I have seen all this and more, and its more common than you would think.

Part of the game we play, the emotional game that it is, is about keeping our emotions in check. Anger, excitement, and the other emotions we all experience, have to be controlled, and thats one thing the most successful people in this business at every position are able to do.

It is by keeping our emotions in check, we can gain an advantage over those people who can not. This is true both on and off the ice.

Jealousy is a reaction to ones own insecurities and the recognition of ones own inadequacies.

When you stop worrying about what someone else does, or can do, you can be more focussed on what you can or must do to get the level of success you desire.

Reacting, or actually trying to damage another persons career, usually will backfire on you and expose your insecurity.

Talking poorly about someone else only make you look foolish and exposes a weakness that people in higher positions do not want to be involved with.

So, if you find yourself, staying in one pleace, for a long period of time, and not advancing, maybe you need to look at yourself. Are you doing everything you can to become the success you deisre to be, or, are you reacting poorly to other people who either work harder or simply have more talent.

You are only in control of you, no one else. Spend your time becoming better and you will likely have more success.

Joseph Kolodziej – Adviser


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