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Hockey Canada Hires Trump Family Member To Lead Public Relations Department

Hockey Canada has been under a lot of pressure as of late. From scandals involving illegal payments to cover up sexual abuse cases, to criminal investigations, and rebellion from the British Columbia Hockey League and others leagues across the country.

To say that public relations has been a disaster for Hockey Canada would be an understatement, along the lines of making the claim that the Canadian Carbon Tax has not been a success.

Hockey Canada, now in their infinite wisdom is making some bold changes. Multiple sources within Hockey Canada offices are confirming that a Trump family member will be named as Public Relations Director in the coming days. Unconfirmed reports that Donald Trump Jr. is to be named, remain unconfirmed.

Sources in New York City are now saying that indeed a Trump family member will be moving to Canada to accept the Public Relations Director position, and that the move should not be seen as an attempt to avoid congressional testimony.

President Trump, while on a presidential campaign stop was asked if it were true that a family member had accepted the position said the following;

“I dont know how accurate the report is. But I can tell you, that if it is true, it would be a huuuuuuge improvement for Canada. In fact I would say, that we can make Canadian hockey great again.”

TJHN has reached out to Hockey Canada to verify the hire. Officials were unwilling to go on record concerning the hire, but did mention that any hire would have to include the candidate being processed through the extremely effective Hockey Canada background check system.

On official commented off the record;

“I think if we hire someone, we should hire someone that cant pass a background check so we can show Canada that we actually fixed something for a change instead of shitting the bed like usual. I dont think this hire does that and we should have consulted Justin Trudeau on how to completely shit the bed on this one. If you want to do something right, why not learn from the best?”

TJHN also reached out to Pierre Poilievre’s office for comment;

“We cant say anything officially, but we have heard the rumors. As a conservative, we appreciate wanting to make Hockey Canada great again. We oppose any new taxes that may come with this plan, as hiring someone from a family of such stature surely wont be cheap. Maybe our great Prime Minister can fund the hire out of the increased carbon tax.”

When reaching out to various Trump family members, no one was willing to speak on the record. One family member did say the following off the record;

“So, if you are going to fix something, dont fix it part way. Fix it so it can benefit yourself and you really dont have to work for it. Its like inheriting a building that your father built, but better, because your father didnt have to build anything. Someone is just dumb enough to pay you for really not doing anything. This is the way Hockey Canada has always worked. Dont hate the player, hate the game.”

TJHN will update this story as more news becomes available.

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