Well kids, 2015 is ending. I know, it was such a great year for The Death Pool I am really sad to see it go. But I am also pretty damn excited for what 2016 will bring.
Looking back at this year, we had so much excitement for all the pay to play expansion, and all those pay to play teams that would magically disappear. I say magically disappear because there were only two or three leagues that actually acknowledged that teams folded or “went dark” after taking the bullet to the head.
You got to love all the attempted secrecy, and essentially cover ups of these disasters. Yet every league preaches transparency of operations. The only thing really transparent is leagues doing anything to sell more franchises to people with check books at the ready.
Nearly two dozen teams folded or “went dark” in 2015. Some of them expansion teams, and some of them were existing teams. Some team owners did the right thing and announced their action in order to give players time to find new teams, while others didn’t and spent player money on seasons that were never to happen.
I cant even begin to count all of the arrests we had in 2015. From sex crimes, to assaults, to Zamboni drivers getting charged for drunk driving while on the rink! I mean seriously, the only thing better that the Zamboni driver getting taken out of the rink would have been a cop car actually on the ice with its lights flashing pulling the idiot over! We can only hope for that visual to come to life next year!
We had teams holding players hostage for money when those players were moving on to higher levels. Yep, its all about development right boys! Its all about the kids!
We had an unprecedented amount of tips coming in from our readers all over the world to report the goings on with some teams. Those tips were invaluable and I look forward to more coming in. This is the readers column as much as it is mine.
As we look forward to 2016, with expansion talk already heating up, and rumors of a new sanctioned Tier II league in the United States running wild, it will be hard to top 2015.
With the challenge facing me to top 2015, I have made one New Years resolution. Normally I don’t resolve to do anything other than laugh my ass off at stupidity, but I have a feeling 2016 could be special.
So, I am resolving to be, as one reader put it, a bigger dick than I was in 2015. I think he meant it as a compliment, but I am not sure! Ha Ha Ha That’s right. I am going to work harder to dig up what needs to be dug up and talked about. I am going to be harder, and harsher in my comments about the stupid acts that are sure to come.
I am also going to make it easier for all you guys to send me in tips on things. Next week a special on line form will be ready for you to fill out and email me directly. Now I know some teams out there just threw up in their mouths a little knowing we are making it easier to report their antics.
Now, besides you readers and tipsters, I couldn’t do my job without the actual subjects of these reports. I mean, what would I do without the absolute idiotic behavior of some leagues, teams, owners, coaches and players?! So, I would like to thank all of them for their random, and sometimes planned acts of stupidity.
Seriously kids, if you made shit up on New Years Eve about what you may see on The Death Pool next year, you might actually nail half of the upcoming stories! Just think as wildly as you possibly can, and throw in a hefty portion of humor and you might be able to predict the future.
So, as I sign off for this year, a little glimpse into the future for you……Next Monday we will have a story of greed. One that is so stupid, you will likely want to check to make sure your wallet is in your pocket. We are also looking forward to the potential for teams disappearing in the Holiday Break Bermuda Triangle. You never know what can happen when players go home on one way tickets!
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.