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The Death Pool – Deciphering The Bull$##T From The Truth In League Advertising

Oh hell yeah kids, its another beautiful morning, and I am pretty sure I am about to piss every league in the country off today.  Well maybe not every league, but I know of one that I will use as an example in a little bit here that will probably make all kinds of threats after this gets out.

You all know what threats get you herein the Death Pool though, and that’s a big fat freakin bullseye for the rest of the year!  Bring on the threats boys.

So, how may of you get sucked into believing all the bullshit in a lot of team and league press releases?  Don’t want to answer?  Ok, I will answer for you.  Most of you fall for it because you want to fall for it.  You want to believe it because it reinforces your thought that you made the right decision playing for this league or team.  Its human nature.

But what happens when you find out the information provided isn’t true?  You know, like the USPHL calling themselves the “Nations Top College Development League”.  That’s right boys and girls read that line of crap again will ya.

When the USPHL put that press release out with that title on it, I changed it.  No way we are gonna allow that garbage to be published.

Lets be really clear here with the facts kids, the top College Development League in the United States is the United States Hockey League, followed in second place by the North American Hockey League.  Third place would actually go to the Eastern Hockey League and not the USPHL.

So now all you USPHL guys can start bitching.  You have a good league, but you are not the USHL and not the NAHL.  Stop the misleading statements and advertising.

How about the USPHL says something like this, “We Are One Of The Best Tier III Leagues In The United States”.  Now that’s a statement that is not only true, but its fair and something no one would have a problem with.

Ummmmmm yeah, well no one would have a problem with it from a consumer side or from the hockey world side, but the USPHL guys would have a problem with it.  They couldn’t allow something like that to be said because they want to believe they are as good as Tier I or Tier II.  They aren’t.

But hey, lets see what happens.  The USPHL Premier is trying to go either Tier 1 or Tier 2 in 2017.  It would be great if it happens and if USA Hockey forced them to play for a National Championship against the NAHL or USHL.  Now that would settle the argument wouldn’t it?

So the moral of the story here kids is if someone try’s to sell you a bag of diamonds but the diamonds have some chips in em, chances are the diamonds are really cubic zirconia, but they sure look pretty in the bag.

This week in the Death Pool store we have a sale on extra large pay to play body bags.  It is a two for one sale, custom labeled with your team and league logos.  This is a spring cleaning sale kids, so you are going to want to get in on it early.  We are resetting the over under for teams folding to 26 for this year.  Yes, 26 is our projection this year in North America.

So if you pre order your own body bag for your team, you can wait to have the logo added later.  Our death cherubs will be up sewing logos pretty late some nights this summer and its all going to start in the next few weeks.  Oh hell yeah kids, it is going to be another glorious summer!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening

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