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The Death Pool – GMHL West Burns Lake Timbermen Imploding

As Valentines day approaches, I think its only right that we send out as much love as possible to the Burns Lake Timbermen of the GMHL West.

Sitting in next to last place in the GMHL West, only because last place is occupied by a team that has already folded, the Burns Lake Timbermen are another Derek Prue “hockey genius” disaster.

But what constitutes a disaster? Clearly the record of being 3 and 16 gets things started. Giving up more than twice as many goals as you score on a nightly basis throws a little fuel into the fire. Then lets add in that they currently have no Head Coach for a little spice.

Heading around to the magical roster, the Burns Lake Timbermen are now down to two goalies and a total of ten skaters. Nothing says quality programing like no coach and a dangerously short bench.

But, you really get a feel for how magical the Burns Lake Timbermen are when you find out that as many as three players were arrested last week. Indeed, leadership of the highest order is at the helm in Burns Lake. That leadership courtesy of none other than the “hockey genius” Derek Prue.

All this happening while no one in the GMHL West knows what the playoff format is going to look like. Rumor is that the “hockey genius” Prue may have all 8 existing teams forced into playing the playoffs even when the bottom four teams are not even competitive.

The GMHL West teams do not even know if there will be three, five or seven game series for the playoffs. Yet, with the season ending in two weeks, and players already leaving, Prue has not revealed what his evil genius master plan is yet.

What’s funny now is that apparently the GMHL home offices are tired of the “hockey genius” Prue, and will be taking over management of the GMHL West next season. It looks like the little fiefdom the “hockey genius” created with ex-wives, children, and ex-girlfriends is starting to slip through his hands like the sand it was built on.

Don’t look now, but there are going to be a lot of changes coming in the GMHL West, and the GMHL if rumors are true. Changes that could lead to some kind of quasi legitimacy if teams can be forced into complying. More on that in another story.

Lets hope though that those nice boys from Burns Lake were bonded out of jail, and that the mascot will be running the video session from their big victory over Kitimat where there were a total of nine skaters. Should be easy to break down all the shifts for everyone.

Watch out for a new recruiting video coming out of Burns Lake, said to feature Candy and Brandy, the “hockey genius” new front office staff. Candy and Brandy are twins, who are alleged to be in the new GMHL West Ownership training program, sponsored by the Derek Prue society for community relations.

Stick around, we got more on the way.

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