Good morning boys and girls! Welcome to The Death Pool where today we are featuring the Pay To Play Panic Button. What is The Pay To Play Panic Button you ask? Well, it is a new tool that teams and leagues are using to try to save teams from going under.
See the game is simple. Teams spend the summer, going to the beach, grilling hot dogs, and fattening themselves up for the slaughter. Once you have spent your whole summer on your ass, you know, sending out emails to player lists that other teams gave you when they were done with them, you wake up one morning and say “oh shit”!
Leagues right now are sending out emails to their member teams asking them to help out other teams in their leagues with any cut or free agent players they may have. Yep, those teams are going to be competitive using everyone else cut players aren’t they kids!
Teams are sending out emails to their other league members begging for help and offering to pay them for their cut players!
Think its not that bad? Ohhhhhhhh ok, you must be one of those believers of league propaganda. See the thing is, we got us a running list here at the death pool. There are no less than 15 teams that don’t even have 10 players signed.
Read that again boys and girls. There are no less than 15 teams that don’t even have ten players signed. In fact we know of a half dozen teams that don’t even have 6 players signed!
But hey, they are all waiting for those players to get cut from the NAHL! Ha Ha Ha. Good luck dummies, cause those players aren’t coming. See the smart ones already had a Pay To Play, or Tier III back up plan in place before they went to and NAHL camp.
In case you hadn’t noticed, all those NAHL camps are now over. Yep, no great stampede to Tier III is coming.
Now, lets not get confused here either kids. Don’t believe the teams when they tell you they got so many players “committed”. Cause a commitment doesn’t mean crap without a signed contract and a check paid for a down payment. A commitment without a signed contract is a stall tactic being used by players who really don’t want to sign with that team because there might be something better out there.
So, when you’re talking to teams kids, ask them for a list of players they have contracts from. IF they wont give you a list, well, you got your answer.
Oh sure some teams are now crapping their pants, but hey, if you did your job all summer, you only need a few players to finish your roster anyway. So why not give those players a list of signed players?
In case you forgot all you lazy coaches, those good old USA Hockey protected lists come out in less than four weeks. We will all know by then, if not sooner who has done the work this summer.
People can say what they want about USA Hockey, but those protected lists are pretty damn important. They are the only governing body that makes them public. Transparency for players? WOW! What a novel idea!
Now that we are into the second full week of August, all body bag, and burial plot sales are now over. Yep, sorry to say that from now on each of those teams that go under will now get their own special report here on The Death Pool. Ohhhhh yeah, and just in case you league operators try to get sneaky and just remove team logo’s from your league sites, we got that covered by making lists of every league member weeks ago.
I think last years count was 17 teams that folded. What a glorious year that was. Sometimes it is almost impossible to top that kind of success, but thanks to leagues who insist on unfounded expansion, the opportunity for greatness continues to exist.
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.