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The Death Pool – Player Statistics And Stupidity

Yeah, I know I am not about to make any friends with this one.  Who cares though?  Some of you dummies need a little dose of reality.  Yeah, you know like the reality of when your dad busts you stealing a beer from the fridge for the first time and grounds your ass for a month. Ha Ha Ha

So, all I hear in the rinks lately are players and parents talking about statistics.  How many points, how many goals, and all the other bragging rights they can find.  Like taking about stats with another parent is a measuring stick of success?

Stop patting yourselves on the back.  You might hurt your shoulder there buddy.

Just so you start thinking a little, all those stats, you know the ones against all the shitty teams you played?  The ones where you had four or five points in a double digit ass kicking?  Yeah, those points that padded your stat total for the season that you like to brag about.

News flash……   No one gives a shit about those points.

Scouts, yeah you know, the guys that matter in your future, they take those stats you rack up against weak teams and throw them out of your totals.  That’s right, they don’t even count.  Why?  Because scouts are kinda smart and know that points against weak teams don’t equal success at the next level.

Ohhhhhh shit, now, the points that do count are the ones you get against really good competition.  Yeah, you know, like if you can only score against weak teams and not against strong teams, you are just an average player.

See its that whole level of competition thing.  If your competition sucks, it sure aint helping you.

Damn, before I forget, all those double digit wins where you ran up the score says a lot about your coach too.  You know, like the fact that he doesn’t know how scouting works either.  Like he is a moron because he could have held the team back from embarrassing other players.  You know, like good sportsmanship stuff.

You know what scouts think of coaches who do that kind of stuff?  Not much is what they think.  So when the coach is listed as a reference or calls on your behalf, you look even more stupid.

So yeah, Statistics for Stupidity.  How is your point total this year?

Speaking of point totals, the G Show Tottenham Steam are racking up the points!  With 266 goals against as of Saturday, they are just kicking the crap out of everyone else!  Tillsonburg is running a close second with 255 but Tottenham has three games in hand.  Ohhhhhhhh snap, sorry, goals against isn’t a good stat.  My bad.  Ha Ha Ha

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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