The Death Pool – Reports From The Jail House
Its the first Monday in March and spring is in the air. Snow is melting, playoff matchups are being finalized in many leagues while some playoffs have already begun. Its a great time of year to get out and watch some games.
Yep, right about now is when everyone starts planning for the summer. Camps, and vacations are on many parents minds already. For some parents its those wonderful hours spent with attorneys and in the court room they are planning.
So this kid Brandon Day wont be liking his summer for sure. Attacking a referee during the NJCAA National Championships. https://twitter.com/SInow/status/835993158974582784
So what does this say about our youth of today? Self entitled little shits? Maybe. Says more about the parents if you ask me. Good luck in court you donkey. Hope you get a seat next to bubba at the jail and he shows you some new fighting moves.
How about Jeffery Loftus everyone. This brain surgeon decided to assault a coach after one of his family members wasn’t getting enough ice time! Yep, nothing like a good conversation and punch in the face to get your point across.
In North Vancouver, we have parents being banned from attending Pee Wee games. Yes, banned from Pee Wee games. Why? For making threats to on ice officials. Fantastic examples of parenting there kids. You think one of their children might be the next guy to attack an official on the ice?
Then we have Eric Christopher Locke. An assistant coach in Canton Michigan. Charged with having a sexual relationship with a female at the school during the months of November 2016 to February 2017. Yep, the girl was 15 or 16 at the time. The coach was 20.
Does anyone see a freakin problem with hiring a coach who is pretty much fresh out of high school to coach kids in high school? Not exactly a smart move by the school district.
Then we have the absolute shit show of the New Brunswick Junior Hockey League Southern Sting and the Grand Lake Moose.
All these morons can do is start a brawl with fans. Yep, just go up into the stands you idiots. And the idiots who were in the stand who were involved? You guessed it. Parents.
I would like to thank all the bad parenting, bad coaching, and general stupidity to all those who contributed to todays story. It is great to know that there are still plenty of you who think its alright to act so inappropriately.
On another note, there is a new product being launched that has a lot of parents interested in running out to stores. It is a combination video game babysitter. Yes, you just sit your kid in front of it, and the machine spits out popcorn and soda while letting the kid continue to play all the most violent video games available. If you buy the upgraded model it actually comes with an adapter to hook it up to the ceiling so your child can take it to bed! Now that’s some great parenting tech!
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.