Hey kids, does anyone believe in this global warming thing? I mean I am reading all kinds of stuff about water levels rising, and wild animals habitat being ruined. Its a travesty I tell ya.
Well it looks like the global warming must be responsible for the extinction of the Cheney Icehawks. Turns out the Icehawks were distantly related to the long extinct DoDo Bird. That’s right, although labeled as a “hawk” the Icehawks were also flightless birds like the DoDo. Although it wasn’t the water level rising in Idaho, it might have been a wild fire that got them.
See we reached out to them by phone, by email, and even talked to the rink. Ummmmm well yeah about the rink. Turns out they don’t have a lease this year, and they had no clue where the team had gone to.
I know, I know, its a shame right. No one wants to lose a team that goes 17-23-0-1 do they. Two of those wins came against the team from Vancouver Washington that folded a few weeks into the season after trying to play with 11 skaters and 2 goalies. Oh yeah and they scored almost 10% of the years goals in those first two games against Vancouver. Now that is a quality team there kids.
So, if you happen to see the missing Cheney Icehawk, please send me an email right away. This is one endangered bird. Ohhhhhh snap, could they have walked away from the junior hockey coop with the Soo Firehawks?!?! I need to research that one, I mean they have to be related don’t they?
I would like to thank the Cheney Icehawks for inspiring my lunch destination for Chicken Wings today! But hey kids, stay tuned because we got us some more coming from the Western United States real soon.
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.