The Death Pool – These Are Not Real Junior Hockey Teams

Its another beautiful Monday morning here at The Death Pool kids.  I spent the weekend watching games in person at night an on the internet during the day.  Yep, a whole lot of hockey for this guy.  Saw some really good players on some really good teams, and saw some teams that call themselves “junior” hockey, but are really not what people in the business would call “real” junior hockey teams.

Yeah, yeah, I know everyone mentioned today is going to be pissed and say I am picking on them.  But guess what kids, if you don’t have at least 15 skaters and two goalies, your not a “real” junior hockey team.  And if you’re on one of the teams that cant put a full team on the ice then you’re a sucker for paying them.  That’s right, you’re allowing them to survive when they shouldn’t because you keep feeding them your hard earned cash.

Think scouts are coming to watch your games?  Ummmmm yeah, they aren’t going to come watch teams get blown out by double digits.  They aren’t going to watch teams that don’t have enough players to make it worth their while.  What really sucks is that on some of these teams there are actually a few good players that could easily go to good organizations.

So, lets start up in the great white north with the GMHL.

We got five teams with PERFECT RECORDS!  That’s right, all five of these teams haven’t won a game.  North York with 14 skaters and 5 goalies is just kicking their own asses because they cant kick anyone else’s.  Grey county and their 12 skaters are looking to set the world, or themselves on fire.  Meadford even with a full roster couldn’t beat a decent midget AA team.  Bracebridge played with 11 skaters the other night and are rumored to be out recruiting at a girls tournament.  Coldwater with their full roster is looking to make a complete sweep of the season.

Lets not forget we got Temiscaming playing with 13 skaters, and the Toronto Ice Jets with 14 skaters.

But our GMHL award for “we cant believe some of you are dumb enough to pay to play” still remains with the Brantford Steelfighters.  With 19 goals for, and 66 goals against, while putting 10 skaters on the ice the other night, I am reminded of the phrase “stay classy Ron Burgundy”.

The NA3EHL actually looks to have stabilized!  Turns out all the NAHL teams actually pitched in to help a few of the boys who struggled recruiting.  Interesting to think that people might want to keep good players within their own systems isn’t it?

Now the NA3HL Euless Stars haven’t been so lucky.  Starting out 0-6-1 with 11 or 12 skaters dressing per game isn’t gonna do a whole lot to improve this team.  The only thing big down in the Dallas area is the opposing team score!

Now the USPHL Mid West still has a few teams that cant get real roster numbers either.  Hmmmmmm ya think ya might went to get out on the road recruiting next year Alpena, and Michigan Wild?

The Rocky Mountain Junior League started up this weekend!  The anticipation was killing everyone in hockey!  You know what, I am not going to say anything else on this league because its not worth talking about.  Go ahead dummies, get your check books out.

The WSHL is still chugging along.  What they are drinking, who knows?  But it must be highly intoxicating for anyone to think this is legitimate Tier II hockey.

Moving on to the NPHL, also as we all remember it the Nor Pac, is just killin it.  Yep, those Seattle Raves and their 11 skaters the other night just tore shit up.  The West Sound Warriors and their 10 skaters Saturday, looked like a force to reckoned with in the Little Ceasers Bantam AAA league.  And the Tri Cities Outlaws and their 11 skaters should have simply been outlawed before hitting the ice!

Hey kids, let me know if I missed anyone will ya!  My eyes were getting a little crossed after reading some of these rosters.  See it turns out that the USA Hockey Protected lists aren’t matching up with real rosters.  Can you imagine teams would protect players that wouldn’t actually be playing games for them?!  Shocking I know.

So yeah, stay tuned for a good article on another Tier III rule change proposal from the boss here.  Its sure to piss off some people.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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