Happy Monday morning everyone! Sorry I missed most of last week, but I was actually on a little mission looking for some new players, and missed my flight back.
Its not over mommies and daddies! Nope, the 2016-2017 season of folding has not ended yet. Oh yeah and if you think that this announcement is the last, ummmmmm yeah well probably not.
So lets all say a prayer for the Vail Powderhounds. Killed in an avalanche of their own making. Yes, they started their own avalanche and finally succumbed to their injuries last Thursday. Seriously though, this story is freakin priceless. And you will love the last little twist at the end.
Yeah so the Powderhounds were the continuation of the living abortion that was a team in the Rocky Mountain Junior League in Breckenridge last year. We all know that train wreck ended with bodies strewn all over the freakin tracks.
So, after a crash, you take your train set down to a new set of tracks. Only this set of tracks runs down hill in Vail. Boom, you relocate to a new arena, get a new name, and you got the same problems. Why? Because you don’t change shit at the top.
The result? Ummmmm yeah, an absolutely horse shit team on the ice. The final straw? The complete 30 to 1 ass kicking that showed the league this team had to go. That’s right, 30 to 1. Think about that shit. A goal every two minutes for the winning team.
It gets better though. Here comes the twist. A Donkey walks into a league meeting and orders a franchise…..
Are you lost on the Donkey thing? If so go back to the story of the Donkey and the Thoroughbred from a few weeks ago concerning advisers.
Hey kids, if you’re on your third or forth “pay to play” team this year, you are either just a bad hockey player, or you have the worst adviser in history. Get a freakin clue, your riding the back of a Donkey!
So the Powederhounds are dead. Gone is the hideous fluorescent green logo. Gone is the opportunity for players to bag up their shit every night. Yeah, they didn’t have a freakin dedicated dressing room! News flash all you dumbass wannabe owners, if you don’t have a dressing room, its not junior hockey!
Gone are the pad your stats nights for all the other leagues teams. Seriously, 30 to freaking 1!!!!! That’s just awe inspiring.
On another note, the Powderhounds will be having an equipment sale next week. Half of the gear was never used, its pretty obvious the team never touched a puck in the offensive zone and it probably smells like new too since obviously no one broke a sweat from effort. You can get a great deal on their statistics program too since there weren’t any statistics to speak of for the home team.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.