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The Death Pool – Worst Team In Junior Hockey – The Results Are In

The annual Worst Team In Junior Hockey contest has concluded. The votes have been tabulated, all hanging chads have been counted. We now annouce the “winner” or um “loser” depending how you look at things.

Coming in fourth place was the NA3HL’s Minnesota Loons. While the loons absolutely shit all over the fishing pond, they couldnt quite make a run at even this championship. Gathering a vote total of 2185 votes, the loons can now only hope to be shot next duck season.

In third place we have the illustrious Yellowston Quake. How this absolute gong show of an operation did not win this year is simply baffling. Maybe the Quake management team got involved and offered to pay some people to vote for other teams, and thats where the money for the second set of jerseys went. A vote total of 2313 is nothing to sneeze at though, and clearly there is room for improvement next year.

In second place we have the once proud, and once winning franchise of the Brooklyn Aviators. Garnering 2403 votes, they really went for it this season. It is really hard to go from a first place team regulalrly to being a traveling circus in one year, but these guys did it. Congratulations on your silver medal.

And finishing in first place with 2420 votes we have the NJHL’s absolute shit show called the Vulcan Rampage. What can we say about the Vulcan Rampage that they havent said themselves? A team that doesnt finish the season, and doesnt pay it bills after leaving one league because they didnt want to pay their bills. Nothing should come as a shock for the NJHL absolute moronic leadership. Sometimes when you step in it, youre better off just to scrape off the botom than to try to clean it off with water.

Being named the worst team in North America does have its perks though. Most importantly everyone knows that there is no where to go but up. Yet, when up means that you actually make it out of the septic tank and into the toilet, you cant be too proud.

Stick around and lets see if this amazing organization can defend its crown next season.

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