Happy Monday boys and girls! Hope everyone had a great weekend! Well, not everybody, I got to stay employed ya know. So I hope all the players had a great weekend getting inundated with mass emails, and contract offers at showcases.
Speaking of showcases……
Hearing from a bunch of people that teams flocked to Las Vegas to sign every player possible last week. Yep, they came from all over the country to hand out hundreds of contracts to non qualified or minimally qualified players.
The main recruiting question asked of players? “Do you have a check book with you today?” Ha Ha Ha
That’s right kids, all you need is a check book to get on a roster right now. Welcome to Tier III recruiting panic central!
Tons of emails coming in here these days. Players are collecting contracts from teams and comparing what they get for signing as well as cost. Even better is that they are weighing their options and not signing right away! There ya go kids! Its about time you started using your head.
That’s right folks, its a buyers market right now.
So yeah there are so many teams out there right now that have less than 10 players signed that our initial guess of 25 teams folding may be just a little low. The over/under now could be getting close to 30.
So for my last column of June here is a question you need to ask each team looking to recruit you……
“How many player contracts do you already have signed?”
That’s right kids, put em on the spot. If they don’t have at least 12 signed contracts for players by the end of June, that team is on the verge of becoming a casualty of war.
Anyway, we got us a fresh shipment of body bags today. I ordered just a few more than usual this year. I have a feeling the morgue is going to be very busy with teams dying to get in. Get it? Ha Ha Ha
To order your body bag for your team call 1-800-SCREWED. Make sure to mention one of two special offer codes:
1. I am a Coach who was dumb enough to do this and now I am “SCREWED”. Where with every body bag you also get our free e-book called “My Owner Makes Me A Scapegoat”.
2. I am a player or parent who was dumb enough to sign with one of these idiots and now I am “SCREWED”. Where with every body bag you get a free e-book called “I Should Have Read The Death Pool Every Monday”.
Have a great week kids, check back for special reports as I got some news that three teams may be taken off life support any minute.
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.
