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The Death Pool – Billet Family Nightmares

We love the tradition of billet families in junior hockey. They can do so much for a player adjusting to a new comminuty and making that transition. The family dynamics are often like those in the players own family, but sometimes, they can be so incredibly stupid, they make it to The Death Pool.

In one nice little town in Wisconsin, a junior team was having a great season. The coach was out getting to know all of the billet families and making lots of new friends. In fact, the coach made quite an impression on one family when they walked in on him in their house after returning home from a dinner out. Of course he was there just doing a billet house inspection and got lost looking for the basement where the players room was. Easily confused the coach ended up on the second floor in the mothers bedroom searching her panties.

Texas is a big State. Lots of space, and lots of hockey taking place these days. Junior hockey is booming, and billet families are sometimes looking to cash in on the shortage of beds. Thankfully these people are very creative when it comes to providing sleeping quarters. If not for the conversion of a stall in the horse barn, two players would have been stuck sleeping in a large military tent. Thank god, the conversion included a pellet stove for some of those cold winter nights.

Ontario is a hockey hotebed. So many teams in the Province, billet families are hard to come by. The competition for those families between teams can become fierce. One team coach had a solution though. Instead of looking for more billets, he just had four players living in his basement and two more in a shed he converted in his backyard. Charging six hundred dollars a month for these accomodations was a real bargain.

Massachusetts is also a huge hockey State. So many programs there, recruiting competition is fierce and billet families are scarce. So when you find a family with a divorced couple living together who wants to take two players in, it must be an absolutely great idea. The family dynamic when the father is arrested for spousal abuse infront of those players sets quite an example.

New York. The home of democratic values and illegal immigrants turns out to also be a great place to find families for players. Well, its a great place until you return home one day to find all of the furniture outside of the house, and half of your personal belongings stolen after the “host family” turns out to be squatters and they finally got evicted.

British Columbia is a beautiful place with a long history of junior hockey and billeting. The people are very welcoming and friendly. There are a lot of “empty nesters” in some rural areas who voluteer their childrens former bedrooms for players coming to play for the local team. But when it turns out that momma bird is climbing into a players bed while he was sleeping, the nurturing went just a little to far.

California is such a big State. So much to see and do. From watching illegals cross into the country, to help cleaning up homeless encampments, to actually playing hockey. One billet family was frugal, and always looking to get the most out of the billet money coming in. Dumpster diving at the local Trader Joes became a nightly family activity saving lots of money for a new car.

Illinois is one of the best hockey States in the country. They develop a lot of high end talent and know how to operate teams at high levels. Aparently one billet family was operating at a uniqely high level. So high in fact that when the drug squad raided the home in the middle of the night, the players had to vacate the home immediately so that hazerdous materials could be removed from the meth lab in the basement that was off limits to the players.

Alberta. Winters are long in Alberta. Snow in May is not an uncommon occurrence. Keeping the wood pile stocked is an important job. When you run out of wood for the fire, there is only one other option to stay warm through a winter storm. Turns out that the billet dad wasn’t too happy returning home from a five day shift in the oil fields to find the billet mom in bed with both billetted players. Nothing says love like a mothers warmth aparently.

Keep those great billet family reports coming in.

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