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The Death Pool – B#*% S#*! Mass Email Main Camp Offers – Exposing Offenders

Good morning boys and girls.  I am thinking that this Monday will be a special day.  Why?  Well lets call it an education day, and a day to expose someone for BS main camp email invitations.

Now I think that when we all went to school, we all learned how to address letters, and emails, right?  Yep, that’s what I thought.  Pretty simple stuff.

So, how many of you out there receive all these mass emails talking about “main camp” invitations?  Yeah I know just about everyone said yes to that question.  Ok, so lets narrow it down a bit.  When you get those emails they are usually decently written and addressed to you right?

Ok, so what do you call a team that invites players to main camp without knowing who the email is going to?  Yes, you read that correctly.

This particular team sent an invite out that invited players named ” [[FIRSTNAME]]”  Just an oversight?  Nope I don’t think so.

Want to know who this brain surgeon is?

Its none other than the NAHL’s Kenai River Brown Bears.  Here’s the full email;

Hello [[FIRSTNAME]],

On behalf of the Kenai River Brown Bears organization, I would like to personally invite you to attend our Final Tryout Camp, which will be held July 22-26, 2015 at the Veterans Memorial Community Center in Inver Grove Heights, MN.

The cost for camp is $325, and includes:4 Games, 2 Practices, Fitness Evaluations, Individual Player Interviews, and possible selection to Sunday’s All-star Game

As a proud member of the North American Hockey League, the Kenai River Brown Bears provide players with an unparalleled opportunity to achieve their goals of playing NCAA and professional hockey. To date, our player advancement includes:

  • Over 60 players moved on to NCAA programs (including University of Denver, Notre Dame, University of Wisconsin and Nebraska Omaha).
  • An alumni currently playing in the NHL Stanley Cup Finals (Andrej Sustr – Tampa Bay Lightning)
  • A current player who was listed on the NHL Watch List during the 2014 -2015 season.
  • Over the last 2 seasons we moved over 15 players on to NCAA programs, 6 to the USHL and 2 directly to professional hockey. 
    We look forward to having you compete at our camp where we will begin forming the 2015-2016 edition of the Brown Bears.

Click HERE to register for the Kenai River Brown Bears Final Tryout Camp

Sincerely,

Nate Kiel                     Geoffrey Beauparlant

General Manager        Head Coach

So lets hear it for these awesome marketing strategists!  Lets hear it for how exclusive this main camp offer can be!  Nahhhhhhhh don’t worry kids, I am sure every other main camp invite your receiving by mass email is legitimate.  It has to be! Ha Ha Ha

So yeah, every time a team is dumb enough to send one of these out, please forward it to us so we can publish it and help make other people aware that what looks so great on the surface, may just be another revenue generator where the player doesn’t even get addressed by his name.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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