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The Death Pool – Enforcers

See ya later boys.  Your one dimensional game is no longer needed or wanted in the game at any level.

With junior hockey making rules to eliminate fighting in the United States and Canada, the same is happening in every level of pro hockey, including the NHL.

Oh no you say, not the NHL.  Well its happening.  Not that they are making rules to eliminate fighting, but they are taking measures to make sure that the “enforcer” is no longer needed, wanted, or taking up a roster spot from a real player that can contribute.

With the Boston Bruins release of Shawn Thornton the other day, the message has been sent to all of his kind, your days are numbered.

The immensely popular Thornton was mourned publicly by fans and the good lovers around the league.  Yep, it make sense to mourn a player who averaged about 8 minutes of ice per game, and never contributed on the score board.  I am sure an extra goal or two could have made a difference in that Montreal series eh boys?

Oh yeah, we always hear about how great guys like this are “in the room” and how all his team mates love him.  Yeah, of course they love him, he protects them, he doesn’t take away their ice time, and he will always be a great cheer leader on the bench.  Of course these guys are great team mates, its because they know deep down that they don’t even deserve to be there so they are grateful.

The enforcer always wears out his welcome eventually.  Teams figure out they don’t need him.  A year or two with one team and they move on to the next team that hasn’t figured it out yet.  Fewer remain in the game today than ever before and its long over due.

Some of the other dumb dumbs that will be looking for work this summer George Parros, Cam Janssen, Paul Bissonnette, John Scott and Krys Barch are not likely to all find employment.  The same will happen in Junior Hockey with the installation of new rules, thank god because players like Thornton, Parros, Janssen, Bissonnette, Scott and Barch have been taking away roster spots from players that can really contribute for too many years.

How will we know its truly coming to an end?  How about the fact that nearly every team is telling players coming into camp this year that they don’t want to see them fighting.  One General Manager saying “You will not make this team as a fighter, we do not need and do not want someone who can only fight.  If that’s what you think you will do, come see me and I will give you your money back and you can go home.”  Now that’s a message kids!

Phrases to identify one dimensional players such as, “he brings toughness” and “he’s a character guy in the room” will soon be gone from the book of hockey cliché’s.

So whats next kids?  Fighting will soon become something that every player will have to do at some point or another.  It will never be out of the game completely.  But every player will have to be able to defend himself.  This might just lead to everyone respecting each other just a little more, which might just lead to less hits from behind, less injuries, and a cleaner game.

Imagine, a clean fast, hard hitting game decided by one goal, where no one was carted of the ice.  Sounds like something people who aren’t even hockey fans might like to watch.

Imagine, going to a camp as a player that can contribute and knowing you only have to beat out other players that can contribute.  Imagine knowing that you didn’t have to think about one roster spot being held for the requisite dumb dumb.  Not bad eh boys?

Those days are coming, they have to, and they are long over due.  Don’t worry though, I have some work for all the enforcers, grab your shovel boys, you can dig your own hole. HA HA HA

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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