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The Death Pool – Its Not Junior Hockey When …-November 30, 2021

The end of November and the home stretch to the holiday break. Its always a good time to get some great stories from teams and players. Like little stocking stuffers they just light up the morning when you can unwrap a little gem.

So lets see what is hanging over the old fireplace this morning…..

It is not junior hockey when your coach makes the announcement that skate sharpening will now cost three dollars per sharp after having it be free so far during the season. Then everything starts making sense when you see him pocketing the three dollars and making change for the boys after they get a sharp done.

Its not junior hockey when your owner is loudly questioning where several new pair of team gloves have gone out of the equipment room. When the equipment room is also inside of the coaches locked office, and it is the same coach who is now charging for skate sharpening, you begin to get the picture.

Its not junior hockey when your father starts talking to other parents about buying the team or another team for you and the other boys who aren’t getting ice time. Yes, because buying a team to give your son more ice time when he can’t earn more ice time is always the best example to provide as a parent.

Its not junior hockey when you have not been to the gym all season, and most of your team has not either. Yep, look around the room and you see a bunch of milk bags, and dad bods on players under 21 and you might start to understand why you cant win hockey games.

Its not junior hockey when the team gets excited about having to take a coach bus to a game when you have been driving yourself to games all season long. No bus? Yes. Clearly a team not using a bus is not a junior hockey team. Players driving themselves to games all season long? Clearly a team owner cutting corners and not caring about his players safety.

Its not junior hockey when half the team misses practice because they are still too drunk to get to the arena. This particular Monday after another three loss weekend might not have been the best weekend to decide to have a big party.

Its not junior hockey when you decide to leave a team, and on your way to a new team you are asked to recruit other players to jump to the new team. That’s just a scummy move.

Its not junior hockey when your team has five goalies, and dresses three of them as forwards in order to meet the league minimum of ten skaters to play on Saturday night.

Its not junior hockey when your team signs some players off the local men’s league team and plays them under the names of players who left the team a week ago in order to get a win.

Its not junior hockey when after getting a call up for two weeks a player is sent back down and the coaches bench him for a weekend because he left the team for the call up.

Finally, its not junior hockey when your new coach talks about being really involved with players and helping them develop. The next day, the coaches first practice is a scrimmage so he can see where everyone fits in, and coach comes on the ice in full gear and then proceeds to start a fight with another player who accidentally tripped him. Yes, ripping the helmet off and dropping the mitts with one of his players.

The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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