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The Death Pool – Kentucky Fried Blackbirds – Guest Writer

Todays Death Pool is written by a guest who is auditioning to take over the series. Please let us know what you think via Twitter.

It’s finger licking good! Forget about Chicago Beef, or the Chicago style pizza. They may be good, but they aint got nothin on a good old Kentucky Fried Midwest Blackbird.

I like mine extra crispy, thank you.

The Midwest Blackbirds have been battered and deep fried to a golden brown. Pass the BBQ sauce and the wet naps cause this is about to get messy.

What can we say about the Blackbirds that they haven’t already said themselves over the years? With season ending records like this, words are simply not enough.

2021-2022 15 – 25 – 3

2020-2021 12 – 30 -2

2019-2020 12 – 32 – 0

2018-2019 17 – 25 – 1

Yeah, big yawn. Nothin to see here. Its not like this team will be missed when it was barely competitive. This was the second incarnation of the program that folded after the 2015-2016 season.

There is something to be said about silently killing your franchise off and thinking no one will notice. And that something is…..

Someone always notices.

Deleting social media. Taking all information off your website. Not answering phone calls. Not answering emails. Players transferred from your team to another.

Yes. All those things get noticed. Not just by me, but by parents and players who send in tips and info every day. Poof, one minute you’re gone, and the next minute you’re a story.

But what really happened to this crispy little bird?

“Rumor is no players. And no players would definitely be a cause for concern when trying to play hockey. No players would make for not only a boring game, but you would lose every game. Yes. Folding makes sense.” Comment from Captain Obvious

Lets be honest here. Teams like this, with this kind of history just don’t need to bring good teams down. There is nothing lost by this loss.

Funny though how people who put together these historically bad teams, with no winning seasons, always wonder why they found it harder to recruit every year. Nothing says “going nowhere” like teams that never win, and only make the playoffs because there was some team actually worse than they were.

In case it has escaped your memory, players like to win. Not winning is losing. Players don’t want to play for programs that lose. It really is a simple equation.

With seasons set to kick off this week and over the next few weeks, something tells me there just may be a few more silent killings. Lots of juicy rumors coming out of Canada these days.

Schedules missing, teams missing from schedules, no rosters posted, all those great signs that some people see as big red flags. But you know, these genius operators probably just forgot we are basically in mid September, and well, legitimate leagues already have all these things published.

Keep those tips coming in, we appreciate it. More important, players appreciate the heads up so they aren’t waiting in line looking for refunds when they could be signing someplace else.

Jake Gardner – Guest writer

*The Death Pool, if I get the job, will be my personal platform to point out the stupidity of people in junior hockey today. No one will be safe, and no topic off limits.

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