Hey kids, happy Monday! Don’t you just love Monday mornings, reading the box scores from the weekend for your favorite teams? See who won and lost, who scored, and who didn’t?
Sometimes though you don’t even have to bother these days because some teams are so freaking bad you know on Friday they aren’t going to win any games, and they might not even score a goal!
This is a regular thing these days in the pay to play hockey ranks. Yep, there’s at least one or two teams, if not more, in just about every pay to play league that cant even be considered respectable! All of it goes back to over expansion, not enough talent, and the irresponsible behavior of the leagues and governing bodies allowing it to happen. But I digress.
So anyway, back to the clowns operating these teams. Yep, that’s right you are a bunch of clowns. And the leagues allowing these clowns to continue to operate are the ring masters of their circus!
So when teams continue to get blown out by double digits, or they struggle to score even one goal in a weekend, can we really call that junior hockey? How about when they have been shut out in half of their games to start the season? I don’t think so.
The best part about this is that you players don’t even realize that when you have teams like this in your league, all those stats you pile up are going to be thrown out the window by real scouts.
That’s right kids, all the hat tricks and multiple point nights you put up against these jokes are going to be looked at as a joke as well. They aren’t going to help you get to college.
If fact its teams like this a leagues that have teams like this that the scouts avoid.
Yep, its about competition kids. Scouts want to know you’re playing against legitimate teams. When you got teams in your league signing players who got cute from Midget AA teams, yeah you might just have yourself a little problem.
Teams wondering why they cant fill a roster, or put butts in the seats? Yeah, how about looking in the mirror. You shouldn’t have a team to begin with.
Leagues will continue to sell franchises to people who don’t know anything though. Yep, step right up with your check book and here is your brand spankin new franchise. Call it what you want, hire who you want, and parents will pay you to have their kid on your team! Yeah I know its amazing isn’t it? You know what PT Barnum said though right?!
Seriously though kids. This is embarrassing. These teams are embarrassing. The leagues that allow it to happen are embarrassing, and the parents who continue to pay for this are embarrassing themselves and their children.
Does anyone think for a second that these kids on these teams are having so much fun that they will want to continue playing hockey? Really? You cant be that stupid.
Do you really think any scouts are going to pay attention to you when you are on one of these teams or play against these teams? Cause if you do, you really need to quit hockey and go to college right away, you’re not smart enough for a scholarship.
I am not going to ask that question of the leagues because they already know the answer and they don’t care. Step right up Sir, of course you can purchase a franchise, of course you can play on an out door rink in the middle of the Yukon! Ha Ha Ha
No coaching experience? No problem. No Hockey experience? No problem, its easy. Of course you can have your kid play on your team, you own it don’t you?!
Hey thanks for the check, here are the keys to your beautiful new franchise! Take er for a spin, show off to your friends. There ya go. Sound like a used car salesman? Funny how one industry can be so similar to another!
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.
