In what can only be explained as another UFO, or extra terrestrial event, the Connecticut Nighthawks Elite team has also been designated as missing. Yesterday the Connecticut Rangers were abducted by UFO’s, and it may be that everyone in the State of Connecticut should be wearing tin foil on their heads to keep the hockey player stealing UFO’s from reading their thoughts.
The CT Nighthawks are now being featured on Milk cartons across the country as missing persons or organizations. While some may not know the team actually existed in the past, we at TJHN have once again uncovered the proof that unlike oompa loompa’s, the Nighthawks did once roam the earth.
Found on the scene where the team went missing was proof of its existence;
Notice that in the upper right hand corner of that photo, there is the season date of 2016-17 as well. Proof that they had hopped to exist once again this season.
Now, the former team members of this fine organization are offering a reward for its location and return to Connecticut. A reward of one hundred not giving a shits is waiting for someone to claim. Just bring in a whole team for the Elite level and you can claim your reward.
Stay tuned kids we got more UFO’s, missing persons, and random acts of stupidity on the way!
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.