Ok, so I thought I was gonna have a nice couple of days to chill and do some research on some things for the next few weeks, and holy crap was I wrong.
Less than two weeks before the World U-18 Championships in Grand Forks North Dakota, the entire Russian U-18 team and their Head Coach have been let go. Gassed! Put a fork in em!
Why?
Well it turns out is it probably the largest ever doping scandal in sports history! Remember how Maria Sharapova got suspended from tennis a few weeks ago for using Meldonium? Yep, well it turns out that Meldonium isn’t just popular with Russian tennis players, it popular with volleyball, curling, and hockey players as well.
ARussian volleyball team replaced its entire roster before a Euro Cup final, while a men’s curling team replaced its squad before a Worlds event. Nahhhhh no problems here kids. Nothing to see, keep moving along.
According to reports from Russia, which are ummmmmm just a bit sketchy, on account of them being reports from Russia, the U-18 team won’t participate due to rampant use of the drug Meldonium.
Reportedly the U-18 team will be replaced by a U-17 team.
Why would these Russian kids be taking this Meldonium? Well its a heart medication usually used for the older folks, but its believed to increase oxygen intake, and thereby increase endurance. Yep, might be a reason it became a banned substance in sport huh?!
I just love a good scandal. Does something to get the blood pumping and see everything just a little more clearly. See kids, cheaters always get caught. Maybe not right away, but they always get caught. So all you junior boys using stuff that you don’t know whats in it, you might just want to find out whats in it. You might want to find out before you get that random drug test.
Then again, you might be one of the idiots still smoking a bong right now too and in that case, don’t worry about it dude, just pass the doritos to your buddy.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening
