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The Death Pool – Special Report – Funeral Pre Planning For Your Team

Like the Boy Scouts say, “Be Prepared”.  Well kids, we’re about to enter the critical part of what I am calling the year of living dangerously!  Its time for some of you to begin planning your teams funerals.  Boo Hoo Hoo

That’s right kids, while many leagues have started their seasons, there are some leagues and teams that have yet to start.  The beauty of this week and next is that pretty much everyone will be up and running.  Or should I say, up and running around looking for excuses on why they don’t have full rosters yet.

So hey, lets start off by saying the NA3HL looks to be in pretty good shape now from top to bottom.  Getting a bunch of NAHL cuts last week sure helped some teams get healthy in a hurry.  Looks like I wont be visiting any of those teams any time soon.

Now before you get to thinking that all the news for Tier III is great……

Take a look at the RMJHL for just a little bit will ya.  So you got a league that says they will have 7 teams. Now they are back to 6.  ^ that according to USAH protected lists looks more like 5 moving forward.

Not looking to good for the boys out west there is it?  How is a team with 7 players protected going to play?

Oh damn, I almost forgot the USPHL Pacific shit show.  Looking like some teams are still in trouble over there.  A few games played this weekend with really short rosters were blowouts.  Kind of embarrassing eh boys?  I mean how can you responsibly put such undermanned teams on the ice and expect them to compete.

A gun to the head or one to the stomach.  Looks like the USPHL Pacific Division prefers the long painful death so let there be more paper cuts!

Staying east, there are still some other teams in the alphabet soup of leagues out there that are looking to round out rosters.  There might be something out there later this week though.

How can these teams be allowed to continue on?  When does a league have the balls to step in and say “you’re done”?

How many blowout scores do you have to see?  How many players getting hurt will it take?

Lets not forget the shit show called the GMHL.  Up to their old tricks every weekend and the season has just begun.  Cant wait to see how this Wiarton team does this weekend!  I mean with all the other shitty teams, they should fit in just fine.

Better yet, when will USA Hockey tell teams their done?  If its about development and you say you’re concerned with safety, how can you let 10 or 12 skaters on the ice three nights in a row?  Think someone isn’t going to get hurt because of fatigue?  Think that development comes from double digit losses?

The best question is when will parents and players pull their heads out of their asses?  I mean really kids, look around.  If you don’t see a full roster, and your getting your ass kicked every night, what the hell are you paying for?

Oh sure, the coaches and owners are saying they will get more players.  Yep those NAHL cuts are going to be enough to fill every team that has a short roster.  If you believe that, then you need to go back and take a math class because their aint that many players coming to Tier III.  Who needs to wait for the new Dumb and Dumber movie to come in November when you got all this entertainment right!

So anyway, back to pre planning your funeral.  Remember you can upgrade your casket now to play music while you rest eternally…..The good old hockey game….

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening

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