The Death Pool – Special Report – Hockey Alberta Threatens To Expell Players For Attending Alternative Camps

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You know, its seems like all the big time hockey officials in Canada and the United States just cant control themselves and plan to publicly step on their own dicks.

Seriously, how scared are all you big bad governing bodies that you have to threaten your members who may want to look into something other than the programing you offer?  If business was done your way around the world, Henry Ford would have never let the Dodge Brothers start up their little car company.

So, Hockey Alberta had to put it in writing this time.  In an email sent out to all its members they said;

“Hockey Alberta members are not to be supporting unregistered programs / non-sanctioned leagues in any capacity”  and continued…

“Where such support occurs, Hockey Alberta will deem the member minor hockey association or club team to be a “member not in good standing” revoking membership privileges and restricting them from operating and/or participating in any and all sanctioned events.”

Yeah, so, if you don’t do what we say, even though without you we wouldn’t exist, we will expel you if we want to.

We are not giving you what you want, so instead of changing and giving it to you, we are going to threaten you if you take your business to someone who does offer you customer service.

Kind of like my ex-girlfriend.  She doesn’t want to have sex with me any more, but I am not supposed to go get some from someone else?  

See you know what happens to people who act that way?  They usually end up losing a lot of their business.  They show everyone what a bunch of assholes they really are, and people say goodbye.  Ahhhhhh yes.  Its called Karma, and she is a mean bitch when she wants to be.

You know what would happen in the United Sates is USA Hockey tried that shit?  They would be paying someone millions of dollars in a lawsuit settlement.  Yeah, that’s why you haven’t seen any of that shit here.

Yeah, I know I am a dick to the guys in the “G”show.  So what.  I never said they don’t have a right to exist or run their business.  I just said they are a bunch of money grubbing donkeys.  Its the truth, they are a bunch of money grubbing donkeys, but they still have a right to exist no matter how stupid they are.

The WSHL, CPJHL and even the absolute shit show NCPHL have rights to exist.  No one has a right to tell someone they shouldn’t consider spending their money with them.  We can laugh at people when they get screwed over, and we can laugh at teams when they fold, but they have a right to exist.

I love Canada.  Best beer in the world in Canada.  But holy shit are these “hockey people” stupid.  Competition should only scare you when you have a reason to be scared.  Hmmmmm I wonder what they could be afraid of?

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.