The Death Pool – Special Report – The Holland Badgers Americas Next Train Wreck

0
4085

Anyone remember the Independent Junior Hockey League from 2017?  Yeah I know, not really too memorable since they didn’t play a freakin game before the whole thing blew itself up.

The Holland Badgers were a big part of that fiasco.  The first team to announce really, and the staff made up of some pretty young kids.

Thank the hockey gods!  These guys are back!  Ohhhhhh hell yeah.  The Holland Badgers are back to play as…….a team with NO LEAGUE!

Now if playing on a team with no league and no schedule doesn’t get you excited, these little tidbits taken from their website might get you pumped up;

Head Coach Colten Wilson….only hockey history is playing one game in High School.

How about the medical marijuana video on the front page of the website?

But you really have to read this to believe it https://www.hollandbadgers.com/schedule Seriously?  Who the hell is writing this shit?

How about this for a recruiting pitch?

We have no league.  We have no games scheduled.  We have a coach with no experience.  No one knows who owns the team.  We cant play any sanctioned teams because they will lose sanctioning.  We have no clue how we are going to pull this off.  But if we do, you will get to ride in a sweet ass coach bus to games where we might actually get killed.

Oh, and don’t forget.  You need to provide your own insurance, and you are probably going to need it if we ever get to play a game.

Seriously?  Who the hell is going to be dumb enough to walk in this shit parade?  Ohhhhh wait.  Sorry.  Yes, I know, some of you dummies will be signing up because you are so desperate to say you played junior hockey that you will do anything.  Yep.  Thanks for the money mom and dad.

The Holland Badgers.  Mmmmmm yeah.  I have a funny feeling I might get another chance to write about these guys.  Stick around.

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.