The Death Pool – Special Report – The NCPHL Turd Finally Being Flushed
The National Collegiate Prospects Hockey League. Yeah, hey Bob, can we get a few more letters and words to add to the league name please? Yeah, it seems like we just don’t have enough to say when we announce ourselves and if we add a few more words and initials people might think we are more important.
Can we add a word like “super” or “awesome” Bob? Actually can we add both “super” and “awesome” and call it the “Super Awesome National Collegiate Prospects Hockey League”? Now that sounds important doesn’t it?
What a joke. The NCPHL. Home of racist logo’s. Vanishing teams, magically appearing new teams, uneven and ever changing schedules, and the worst website in hockey history is finally ending the 2016-2017 season.
Yes, the shit show of all shit shows for this season is limping to the finish line with four teams. That’s right everyone, four freakin teams. And one of those teams is only a “part time” team because they belong to a different league!
See, the teams in Canada that started the season aint gonna be finishing the season. Yep, turns out they got tired of the constant schedule changes, and absolutely child like way the league was operated.
Who the hell calls a junior championship series “The Frosty Four”?
Yeah, I would like the Shamrock Shake with my “frosty four” please. Can I get the “frosty four” special, two coffee’s, and an order of bullshit fries with that? I’ll take the veggie burger, kale shake and the frosty four enema to go please. Ha Ha Ha
Seriously, what six year old is making this shit up? Its like someone got a magic 8 ball filled with bullshit and they just shake it up once in a while to come up with something for the league. What an embarrassment.
Oh shit, sorry. Was that a little harsh? Wait a minute, you owners actually paid for franchises in this bullshit league? Damn. Sorry about that.
You know who I really feel sorry for? The parents and players that had to suffer through this bullshit. I mean its not the owners fault either from what I am hearing. The owners got screwed too. But hey, who cares right? The league can just make up some more bullshit fake team names for next year and try to get some new dummies to pay for it.
The plan for 2017-2018? Ummmm yeah, well, about the plan. “Hey Jimmy, you got that notebook we were coloring in last night? There is an 18 year old kid down the street who just inherited some money from his grandfather. I think he would be an awesome owner in the Super Awesome National Collegiate Prospects Hockey League. He loves hockey and watches it on TV all the time. You should see this kids hockey card collection. Yep, this has success written all over it!”
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.