Oh yeah, back for a little mid week session. Last year you guys seemed to like my top ten stories so, I figured I would give you one a little early this year. Its not without reason though, because I am getting loaded up on some hilarious Tier III recruiting stories, and some awesome signs of teams already hitting the panic button.
So, The Top Ten Signs Your Tier III Team Is Already In Trouble;
10. Your Coach calls you after you sign and asks you if you have any friends that can “afford” to play on the team! Yes, some dumbass did this. But hey, its all about the kids right folks! LMAO
9. You ask the Coach how many players will be at camp and he says thirty or forty. When you show up to camp there are 19 goalies! No bullshit kids, it happened.
8. You are just about ready to sign the contract, and they repeat for the third time; “All tuition has to be paid in full before September 1st”. That kids is the sign of a team that needs money to get through the summer and pay some of their expenses for the season up front because their vendors don’t trust them.
7. You call the arena the team has listed as its home rink asking if you can get a tour because you will be in town and they tell you the team hasn’t signed the lease yet and there is no designated team dressing room.
6. Your coach tells you the team has to practice at 9:00 PM or 10:00 PM because youth hockey wont help with better practice times. Yep, nothing better than saying the youth hockey people want nothing to do with us, and we are too lazy to get up and practice at 10:00 AM.
5. Your prospective team talks about great hotels, travel and meals while on the road. Then you discover the pictures of 5 players in a room on Facebook, pictures of the school bus used for travel on last years players pages, and photos of all the hot and ready pizza’s in team photos from last season. Yep, that’s some first class junior hockey shit there kids.
4. Your team talks about how great the billeting situation is during recruiting, but they cant tell you who the prospective billet family is before you get there.
3. The team again talks about how great the billeting situation is during recruiting and when you arrive in town you meet the billet mom and billet daughter from last year and both are pregnant from the same former player! Seriously kids I am not making this shit up!
2. The team has a local pub as a sponsor and all players 19 and over are welcome to come in for a free beer after each home game!
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening
