Its Friday!!!!!! Hell yeah. I am heading out to the lake with the folks, but before I go, I wanted to drop some stuff on ya I have been getting in the email box. Yeah, all this shit is really happening. I am getting loaded up on some hilarious Tier III recruiting stories, and some awesome signs of teams preparing for an early death.
So, The Top Ten Signs Your Tier III Team Is In Deep Shit;
10. Your prospective team lets you know you will be part of a four or five goalie rotation! All this for the low, low price of $9,000.00 Oh yeah, and they have no goalie coach. LMAO
9. You ask the Coach in an email how many players they have signed. Coach responds and says “Five. But we have contracts out to twenty other players.” Ummmmmm yeah, and the offer to this player would be number 21? How stupid are some people?
8. You are just about ready to sign and the team asks if you can actually pay in cash. Yes, someone actually asked to be paid in cash for the year. Ummmmmm yeah, that’s a sign to run like hell kids!
7. You call the arena the team says will be the home rink and the arena manager tells you that the team has not given them a schedule for games or practices yet.
6. You arrive for camp, meet your billet family and go to their house for a tour. Only to find out your room is actually in a basement with the dogs. Not too bad until they turn on the lights and you see three dogs laying in their own shit on the floor that hasn’t been cleaned for weeks.
5. Your new team owner pulls into the arena parking lot driving a 1990’s Ford pickup, and the passenger side door is closed with duct tape.
4. Your team tells you that due to circumstances beyond their control they will begin the season just a few players short of a full roster. Its ok because you think it means more ice time. Until camp comes and only ten people show up.
3. Representatives of the team are wearing suits with the store labels on them. You over hear one of the coaches talking about how he has to leave before the store closes to he can return it for a refund. Seriously kids I am not making this shit up!
2. You see the coach out behind the arena smoking a joint in between periods! Yes, this happened.
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening
