Good morning kids! Part two of The Death Watch this morning. I would first like to thank Coach for giving up his time slot this morning so I could get this out to you all as promised.
I would also like to thank all the idiots who have these organizations being operated half assed or on shoe string budgets. You make my job easy, and watching these train wrecks unfold gives us all plenty of mid week entertainment as we wait for the weekends.
So, here we go;
Yeah, well the ultra secretive, super double locked up share no information league is at it once again. Yep, no sense in letting people in on where your rosters stand is there? Nahhhhhh, why lend any credibility to the league when it now claims to be “Tier II”. Please refer to lipstick on a pig references if you believe that.
Anyway, I can confirm based on multiple sources that the Arizona Redhawks are on the verge of not leaving the nest this fall. Ummmmmm yeah, you probably don’t want to send out text messages boys. They have a way of making it over to TJHN. Yep, you might just want to return phone calls from the news site you sponsor boys.
The Colorado Evolution also look to be stuck at the very beginning of evolution as they cant walk upright yet according to multiple sources. Yeah boys, ummmm if you cant walk, you cant skate. Then again, if you have no players, you have no team. And if your coaches phone is shut off, that might be a pretty good indication that things just might not be going so well!
Word is two more un-named teams maybe even three might not make it. Oh well, looks like I might be diging some more holes in the desert this year. I could use the sun anyway.
The NPHL is making claims that the remaining six teams will play. But ummmm yeah, only four of them look like they could play right now. Probably want to back up and stick to five teams again this year. But hey, you can play cross ice with 13 or 14 players no problem! Ha Ha Ha
Which brings us to the RMJHL. Ahhhhhh yes, the utopia of Colorado! Where Coors flows from your kitchen faucet, and everyone smells like they just came from a Grateful Dead concert!
Yeah well, the idea of the RMJHL sounded real good. It looked good on paper too. But ummm yeah, that’s kind of like the theory of time travel. Looks cool, but ummmm yeah, not exactly easy to implement.
See it turns out that most teams wont turn in their protected lists. Only Breckenridge has done it so far. Turns out they are probably the only team to have a list to turn in that will at least look like they are trying to build a team.
Funny how when players getting cut from AAA teams are turning down spots in the RMJHL and then heading out east or to the Mid West to play Tier III. Whats that tell ya boys?
Poor planning. Bad recruiting practices. And even worse execution of the plan they thought they had is what this league is known for. All before playing a single game. Yep, this is utopia. Hey, someone pass me another Coors will ya?
The qualifications for team ownership of a Tier III team? No one is really sure. But I got a buddy of mine I went to high school with who owns a hot dog cart who will be putting in an application with one league next year. Lets see if he can get through the process making $5 for every dog, chip and soda package he sells!
So there you have it kids. Including yesterdays report there are still between 17 and 23 teams on The Death Watch. And those are the ones we know of.
I wonder which leagues will expand again next year?
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.