Happy Halloween everyone! Thanks to all those mommies and daddies who will be passing out candy next weekend, special thanks to all those mommies in costume.
So, you are playing junior hockey this year. Awesome. Oh shit, you are playing Tier III junior hockey this season? Ummmmm yeah, and your playing on a team getting pumped by 5 to 10 goals a game? Nice buddy, excellent choice for you. Don’t forget to tape your ankles.
So here are the top ten signs your shit show, ummm Tier III team is going to fold and you will lose your money….
10. Your head coach attended a team post game party and was proud of being able to out drink the biggest drunk fourth liner on the team.
9. Your head coach decided not to show up for practice. No reason, just didn’t feel like showing up. Leadership is what its all about eh boys?
8. Your team on a free admission game night couldn’t gat anyone to show up to the game other than parents. Nothing says success like a community that clearly doesn’t give two shits about Tier III hockey.
7. Your coach is spotted at the AA tournament over the weekend trying to sign a new goalie. Not kidding. Really this happened.
6. When you show up to the arena, the dressing room locks have been changed because the rent hasn’t been paid.
5. When you ask to meet your billet family you are told you will be living with 9 other guys in the owners basement. In case you cant comprehend, that means the team has no billets!
4. You sign your contract and hand over your first payment to be the teams number one goalie. Such a nice photo used on the team website. Followed by four more goalie photos published on the team website all being promised the number one job.
3. When you read the team contract it says there are no refunds. After the team folds and you paid in full and are not getting anything from the team? Yep, that says thank you for the cash, now go find another team.
2. When you show up for a game on Friday night and there are 9 players and an goalie. If that doesn’t tell you how screwed the team is you need to go back to elementary school and learn how to add and subtract.
- On the way to visit the rink, you drive by your owner at a check cashing center. Yeah, a check cashing center. If you cant figure out how screwed you are then you are a total moron.
The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.