The Death Pool – USA CHL Train Derailing And Bodies Are Scattered Along The Tracks

The USACHL.  Ok, I think this league is the only league in hockey history that needed SIX letters to make up its initials.  That alone is just blatant stupidity.  Who came up with this stupid name anyway?

Well, its the same guys that ran the CHL into the freakin ground.  Yeah, same business plan basically as the old CHL except they weren’t going to pay the players in this junior league.

One big flaw in the USACHL plan though is you don’t have a billionaire funding the whole thing.  Yeah, something like one owner for the whole league takes having someone with such deep pockets they don’t even miss a million dollars.

So lets recap a little to bring everyone up to speed on this train wreck….

Four teams playing a 48 game schedule.  Doing real math, that means you play each team 16 times.  That’s a shit show by any definition.

One owner with ties going back to the CHL which already failed.  One other leader who was actually responsible for the CHL failure out setting this disaster up.

A logo that it looks like some kid with Microsoft Paint made in about five minutes.

A shitty website with no stats.

No recruiting prior to the season starting except two camps where about a half dozen players showed up in total.

A season that began a month later than all other junior leagues because this league took all other leagues players that got cut.

Rosters on “free to play” teams that are not even close to being full.  How the hell do you not have full rosters on teams where you play for free?

And now………..

Coaches have quit.  Yes.  Multiple coaches have already quit because they aren’t being paid.  I know, this is completely unexpected when looking at the previously mentioned items right? (Sarcasm Font)

Games are being cancelled because of “arena” issues.  And these arena issues just happen to be in places that cant draw flies for fans?  But regularly scheduled men’s league games are being played that night in a building with ice problems?

Statistics are being kept on a “free” stat program that even youth hockey organizations don’t use.  Must be some kind of sponsorship deal with the league huh?

Players are leaving this super awesome league for pay to play teams in other leagues!  Yes, its so shitty that players will leave and go pay to play instead of sticking around for free to play hockey.  Hard to believe I know.

League executives are now being rumored to have left town.  Yep, nothing says “quality” like a league office where no one works, and the league officials cant even find their paychecks.

Oh, and now, allegedly because the social media guy hasn’t been paid, all of the social media accounts have been shut down, or redirected, or new pages are having to be made.  Might want to own your own social media accounts there boys.  Kinda something you learn in business 101 you know.

In the mean time, while all of this is going on, I wonder who is counting the money from thousands of fans in Laredo and Rio Grande?  I am sure some of that money will be used to pay the people that are owed payroll who relocated to Texas for this shit show.  That is if they are still in Texas and not home in Canada or Minnesota or Las Vegas or……

Yep, the USACHL is some real success story aren’t they?  Great leadership there.  Excellent execution on destroying markets that could have been great hockey cities again.  Yep, everyone missed the old Central League so much that the top players lined up to play in this shit show.  

They aint dead yet, but it shouldn’t be long….

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I Salute You!
*The Death Pool is a mix of Comedy, and Satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.