It is hard to believe the season is coming to an end. Some teams are completely done for the season, some end this weekend and others move on to playoffs. Where does the time go, I often say “time has wings.” Two of our billets have left to go home and the other leaves next week, their season ended in the first round of playoffs. Our son’s team is moving on to playoffs, it is now weekend to weekend until they win it all or lose in a playoff round….and then the awful trip of flying out to get him and the long drive across the country home. I am really looking forward to having my player home for the summer.
Here is a reflection of the season.
We truly enjoyed housing players this year, we had 3 of them in our home and we could have not asked for better young men. I know my husband and I helped them through some tough hockey and life trials, but they hung in there and finished the year better young men, better players, than when they came to us. We are looking forward to three new players next season.
If you have never billeted a player, we recommend it, we enjoyed having the players live with us and watching them as they adjusted to their first time away from home. However, if you do billet, please do it for the right reasons, not for the money. Do it so they have a welcoming home to live in, with fresh made meals each night, and heartfelt interaction. I have heard nightmare billet stories this season and that is unacceptable.
Then there are the highs and lows for players across all leagues and levels of Junior Hockey. We watched some players leave the game after their first year of juniors and decide college is the priority, which I am very excited for them and consider this a very high priority. Some players realize that they do not want to dedicate all their time to hockey and it is time to experience new things, I am excited for them as well. I watched some leave after their first year because coaches were not respectful of all their players, I struggled to put that nicely. But then we saw players whom came in weak, worked hard and pulled out an amazing year. Hard work and dedication to the craft of hockey is not easy and living the Junior Hockey life is not easy for both players and their parents. But for those that hang in there and give it their all, there is plenty of rewards.
If you are entering the Junior Hockey world next season, here is my advice to you. DO YOUR HOMEWORK on any and all teams you are considering for your player. Conduct background checks on the owners and coaches, get references, then call those references. And for the love of the game, if you are going to a new start-up team please ask to see their financials. There are some great teams out there which have the best intentions. I am not saying stay away from new start-up teams, some are reputable and they have to start somewhere, but there are also many sharks circling the water only for your money. If you do not have time to do your research, please find a respectful advisor. If you are looking for an adviser please……do the same research and dig deep, please. Trust me when I tell you if you follow this advice you will save your kid from heartache and save your wallet from being ripped off.
Parents, another thing learned this season is we really need to let our players handle their issues and situations, unless your kid is going to be physically hurt, let them fully earn their wings. They can call their coach; they can handle adversity let them figure it out, they are living away from home and you can no longer be a “helicopter parent”. No coach wants a problem parent. It’s OK to call the coach to check in on the progress of your player and have a professional chat. It’s not ok to call a coach and complain about playing time, stats and telling the coach how to do his job. Your hurting your player, hockey is a small community and we all know who you are, just stop and let your kid develop.
I learned a valuable lesson this season from my kid’s coach. Having the opportunity to have lunch with coach and learn more about the game and why my kid was struggling, was truly enlightening. Again, professionally approaching the coach is not a bad thing, in my case it was a great lesson.
When coach explained to me that my kid could play the game well, but my kid did not understand the game at this level. Of course I wanted to jump out of my skin and defend my kid, but I listened. He proceeded to explain, in basic terms, about the 3 lanes on the ice and playing your position and understanding playing your position. He said, he understood why my kid did not understand the game, because no one taught him. When growing up our kids are taught by volunteers who may not know the game of hockey and do drills around cones because their book says too. This does not teach the game.
What he did explain is at the higher levels, when you practice, you teach the drill in the beginning of practice and then you use that drill in a simulated play situation. Coach assured me my kid is not alone but it was fixable. He told me the story about when he asked one of his leading scorers on the team one day, why he was not using the drill he had just taught in the game simulated situation, I laughed when the answer was “coach that was just a drill.” Coach said “yeah a drill with a purpose.”
That conversation really resonated with me and I learned there are many dimensions to the game that I did not even realize, especially as a Hockey Mom that only watches the “brilliancy” of her kid. When we watch our players we are only focused on them. There was much more to the conversation, but in the end I was thankful for the lesson. Now when I ask myself, what the hell is coach thinking, I get it at some level.
After my lunch with coach, we then sat down with my player, his player, and we pointed out some of the work he has to do. My player left with a much better understanding, as did I. Now I do not have to judge from the sidelines, knowing with a good coach there is a plan and a reason. When we wrapped up our meeting the three of us agreed on our new motto for next season, which is “Do Your Job!” If another player on the ice is not doing his job, it is your job to make him look bad by doing your job. I like it! We like it!
Now I would like to take a moment to thank you all for reading my articles. This was my first year and I enjoyed writing them and I believe the boss was happy to post them. The best part for me was watching some of my friends and acquaintances sharing my articles and not telling them that I wrote it. I look forward to continue writing articles and seeing what next season brings.
Hockey Mom
