The Death Pool – 29 Teams On Death Watch In All Leagues
A little coffee and a cinnamon roll to start the morning. MMMMMMMM There is just something about sitting down and looking at all the protected lists, posted rosters, and box scores over the weekend that makes me giddy.
Counting. Its so damn easy to do even my little sister can figure this shit out. Yeah, you know, like counting how many players each team has or doesn’t have?
So here’s the deal, every team on this list is reporting or has 15 players or less on their roster. Even though I think 15 players is a complete failure, I am giving them some slack. So if you see your team listed here, I hope you have a backup plan.
I made this list up in alphabetical order according to league initials. So all you whining little bitches who see your team on here cant say we were focusing on your team or league.
If you dumb asses would either recruit better or put all your players out in public, you wouldn’t be on the list. Either way you’re incompetent and shouldn’t be running a team.
Here we go;
CPJHL Brampton Royals no reported players and the head coach went to another team
EHL Premier (lower EHL division) Central Penn Panthers 11 skaters and 3 goalies
EHL New York Applecore 10skaters and 3 goalies
EHL Premier Applecore (lower EHL division) 13 skaters 2 goalies
EHL Valley Jr Warriors 9 skaters 1 goalie
EHL Valley Jr Warriors (lower EHL division) 13 skaters 0 goalies
EHL Premier Walpole Express (lower EHL division) 13 skaters 2 goalies
GMHL Windsor Aces – the usual complete disaster shit show game already cancelled
GMHL London Lakers 10 skaters and 2 goalies
GMHL Wiarton Schooners 6 skaters and 2 goalies
GMHL Fergus Force – the usual complete disaster shit show with recycled owner
GMHL Meaford Knights 9 skaters and 1 goalie
NA3 Bozeman Ice Dogs 11 skaters and 2 goalie
NA3 College Station Spirit 10 skaters and 2 goalies
NA3 Long Beach Sharks 13 skaters and 2 goalies
NA3 Missoula Jr Bruins 11 skaters and 3 goalies
NA3 Nashville Jr Predators 6 skaters and 2 goalies
NA3 Roc City Royals 11 skaters and 4 goalies
NA3 Wausau River Wolves 12 skaters 3 goalies
NA3 Yellowstone Quake 10 skaters 1 goalie
NCPHL Chelsea Hurricanes no reported players, no reported coach
NCPHL Eastern Ontario Hockey Academy no reported players, no reported coach
NCPHL Toronto Stealth no reported players
RMJHL Colorado Rampage 0 players reported
RMJHL Breckenridge Bolts 12 skaters and 3 goalies
SIJHL Minnesota Iron Rangers 12 skaters and 1 goalie
SIJHL Thief River Falls Norskies 9 skaters
USPHL Tri City Ice Hawks sources reported 8 total players
USPHL Wisconsin Muskies sources reported 10 total players
So yeah, we got that list of disasters waiting to happen. Then we got another list for tomorrow of teams that folded over the weekend. Yeah, with more than a dozen teams folding already, this is turning out to be a banner year!
Hey, I wanna give a big thanks to all the leagues expansion committees. Seriously, without you greedy shits looking for those franchise fee’s I couldn’t do all these reports. Thanks a million boys, I know I can count on you to repeat history or improve on it every year.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.