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The Death Pool – Can You Smell What Death Has Cookin?

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Oh hell yeah.  Can you smell it?  Death warmed over, or is it pumpkin pie?  Who cares……someones gonna eat it either way! HA HA HA

Finally some leagues have taken the time to generously lubricate their necks to make the collective pull on their heads as it relates to them being stuck in their butts!  (Insert mental picture here)

While making my rounds in local emergency room this weekend, I actually heard that some leagues are getting tired of teams not being competitive!  Can you believe it?  Leagues are actually starting to get upset because some teams are not competitive enough?  By george that’s just shocking!

Several little vampire bats are telling me that leagues are now looking into ways to get rid of, or dare we say, whack, some of the teams that continually show they can not compete.  Take them down to the river Bobby and put em in a deep hole for crying out loud! HA HA HA

The only problem with this is that these leagues are about a year too late!

Ummmmmm yeah, a team that constantly gets blown out by double digits is great to keep a balanced schedule!  Can you believe that’s one of the reasons these leagues have used to keep some of these life support cases around?  Fashizzle.  In order to avoid an unbalanced schedule, leagues have kept teams around knowing that they will not be competitive, and that they will struggle financially.

That sounds like a sound management plan doesn’t it?  Well hell george, if the idiot wants to continue to get his ass kicked on the ice and at the bank who are we to stop him?

Speaking if getting an ass kicking…

I want to give a shout out to my boys in New Mexico!  What up playas!  Keep reaching for perfection is what I always say!  0-12-0 you are well on your way.  7 goals for, and 103 against!  Keep sending those checks mom and dad, you have certainly picked a winner. HA HA HA

Stop laughing you fools in Tulsa, San Diego, and Southern Oregon!  HA HA HA I bet a few of you wish you had some coach from the MNJHL doing your recruiting these days!  Thats right Chester, if you have a check book and a pulse, we will take you.  Come on out west where we have all of the NCAA programs coming to recruit……..THEIR BASEBALL PLAYERS!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA

Lets not forget to give a nice round of applause to the Battle Creek Revolution, Michigan Mountain Cats, Breezy Point North Stars and Minnesota Flying Aces.  A combined record of 8-52-3 is pretty impressive, and only three teams are contributing to the win column.  (Insert circus music here)

The Eastern Hockey Leagues Washington Junior Nationals and Philadelphia Revolution are lighting things up with a combine 6-23-1-1 record.  Did I mention that its the Revolution that aqccount for 5 of the 6 wins?  HA HA HA

Oh hey, yeah while we’re on the east coast, how about you genious operators learn how to keep your websites updated with stats, standings and other information.  Yeah, you know the stuff that these parents are paying you to do and that scouts are actually looking for?  Oh snap, sorry boys, I know its hard to shuffle scholarship money and count stats at the same time! HA HA HA  Its kind of like trying to count and someone keeps giving different numbers to screw up your count isn’t it?  HA HA HA   I hate when that happens!

David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You

*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events.  It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening.

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