So here I am sitting and waiting. Sickle in hand, hole dug in the ground, people waiting to pay their final respects, or well people waiting to laugh their asses off anyway, and some of you bastards just wont go away.
What the hell are the Minnesota Owls still doing playing with eleven skaters? I mean really parents and players are you so freakin desperate to play junior hockey that you’re willing to throw money down the toilet on this circus? Do you really think that playing with eleven skaters is what junior hockey is all about? Ummmmmm no, its not. Wake the hell up will ya.
Vancouver Vipers? Really? Seventeen players listed, with three goalies, funny how only 15 of those seventeen show up on the score sheet. 34 Goals Against, and ONE goal scored in four games. Yep, that sure sounds like a competitive team there kids. In case you hadn’t guessed they haven’t come close to winning a game, and they probably wont.
How about those Ironwood Fighting Yoopers playing with 12 skaters yesterday? Sweet stuff there kids. But hey, the zero wins and nine losses don’t make a difference right? I wonder how that happened when just a week or so ago they had 17 players. Oh well, double digit ass kickings could make some people want to leave eh?
Maybe the Las Vegas Storm should take all 13 of those skaters and give them to some teams that could use one or two to fill their rosters in the WSHL. Or maybe they should just sign a few more goalies like other teams are doing. Then again at least they have a roster unlike the Tulsa Oilers.
Oh hey, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to the old Berkley Bruins in the MWJHL. How about getting your shit together boys? Ummmmmm yeah, maybe some players, and some payments on some bills are in order.
But lets give a cheer for the Alpena Flyers, who by the charity of the rest of the MWJHL are now up to 13 players signed! Bang up job kids. Ummmmm just one thing, how long are they going to stick around when they get their asses kicked every night?
Just for laughs though kids, I am working on a special report your just gonna love. Stay tuned cause this should be fun.
David Wagner – The Angel Of Death – For Those Who Live Stupidly I salute You
*The Death Pool is a mix of comedy, and satire in connection with recent events. It is not an official report of current events although it may look as though the news is so accurate that it could one day happen or may be happening